So don’t give him the Super Bowl MVP then.

It’s only funny if you eat your baby after.

Can you make a list of all the things Katie Nolan is allowed to criticize?

Well considering that artisan toast is a fucking thing in my random Dallas neighborhood, we’re pretty much there.

Yeah, that’s what he’s saying: it’s really easy to go see the Eagles because nobody wants to. There are a lot of tickets available.

This is your twitter, only without character limits.

“Musical skills benefit students’ IQ, logic, math, language, and spatial-temporal skills.”

So is The Worst Tweets of 2016 set in stone, or can we add Mr. Penis for a Head and his known Twitter commodity buddy to the list?

You’ve really cracked the case open.

Maybe she’s from Australia.

He should’ve caught more balls for more yards and touchdowns.

You should brew up a joke detector, bro!

From the scoring to the records and seeding, this is upsetting.

I’m not sure this is better than fake news.

Tom Coughlin won 2 Super Bowls, and Dan Reeves has 9 conference championships, which is 8 more than Fisher.

They ought to start selling masks.

Lacrosse parents can be insane. My high school team was pretty good about it outside of petty politics, but you’d see kids at tournaments just getting ripped by some assistant coach in a timeout and find out later that it was his dad.

Adam Eaton has had one good year at CF, your point isn’t great or clear.

The first two sentences are about his fielding. You stupid.

Go back to rhyming