You make a living by figuring out which economy car New Yorkers should buy? Who are these clients? What kind of job is that? People come to your office and say, “I can’t decide whether to buy a Kia Rio or a Mazda 3.” And you ask a few questions and say, “Let me run the numbers. Come back in a week and I’ll have a…

Is it really that irregularly shaped or is the altitude or curvature enhanced or distorted somehow? The final images make it look much more spherical than the earlier ones.

Somewhere in a tony suburb of Chicago, Kristin Cavallari is trembling, nails digging into her palms, as rage builds within her breast.

I thought the red cups were meant to represent the blood of the saviour. Guess not, huh?

I wonder. Did they name him Lemon because, like the CNN anchor, despite the afro hairdo he’s obviously white?

As long as Oregon gets a ski season this year, I’ll be happy.

Why do aliens give a shit whether we exterminate ourselves or not? If they have minds inclined to science, they’d likely find it fascinating.

Looks pretty cool except for the poop-colored streak all the way down.

How much do you suppose someone like Scott Disick gets for one of these Instagram commercials?

That bald dude is a dancing machine!!

But the A-Team van doesn’t have a name and the whole point is a name for the van. How do you know the A-Team van isn’t named Scooby?

"A Victoria's Secret manager did a Reddit Ask Me Anything about what happens to returned merchandise."

I lost the star that let me post without approval on the pre-Kinja Gawker. I can't even remember what I did. It was in one of those stupid purges you used to do. Who gives a shit? I'm gray and I'm proud, mother-fuckers!

The thing that's cool about this is that you can finally ask that question, "What's the weirdest clusterfuck that got everyone talking?" and 9/11 isn't the first thing everyone thinks of.

"What's the weirdest clusterfuck that got everyone talking" on the internet?

It's strange to see tall Russian things that don't have 20-something jerk-offs dangling from it or jumping off of it or swinging from it or some stupid crap like that.

Neat article, dude. I almost finished it. Oregon is a much more egalitarian place these days. We don't want any of you pinheads to move here.

It looks like a goddamn Johnny Cab to me. Ugh!

I carried on an affair for over a year where our only opportunities to sleep over were at marathons that we traveled to without our families. We had multiple encounters before and immediately after running hard marathons, including Boston in 2013 and our Boston qualifier. I can assure you that both men and women can…

"On a case-by-case basis" is code for "graft and corruption."