They don’t make them like they used to.

I’ll take well knock sensors over ill knock sensors any day. Nothing against the infirm, but I gotta get to work!

If that chain is enough to hold that car in place, then I don’t want it.

There’s a white-haired menace with a pristine new white stingray that lives on my route to work. Every so often in the morning, he pulls it out in front of me and lurches it to a barn about a mile from his house. My best guess is he’s part of the local farming syndicate and saved up his whole life for the thing.…

That packaging screams “Industrial Cookie Print Co.”

Oh, my rage is explicable. When 10 seconds pass, 15 seconds, 20 seconds past when the light turned green, and we’re till waiting of the ASSHOLE RETARD at the front to GO. Your top NUMBER ONE MOTHER FUCKING PRIORITY at the front of a stoplight queue is to GO when it turns GREEN. You’ve been sitting there for over a…

The most exciting thing to happen in golf - wasn’t even that exciting.

‘Moderately’ engineered.

Music is pointless too, but we all listen to it. Except for my parents.

Bicyclists ruin bicycles for everyone.

I just never want to work as hard as one must to afford a Ferrari. I guess I don’t want it enough. However, if I happen to stumble on that kind of cash.... heh heh... you bet your batootie I’ll be right down at the Koeniggsegg design house faster than you can say ‘Fuck Ferrari.”

I wish Subaru would drop a few redundant models from their lineup and make a pickup truck. Not some stupid pickup truck that exists purely for broprincesses. I’m talking about something like a Ford Ranger. Comes standatory with a trailer hitch and AWD. Great for people who actually use trucks for work, but not so…

I want to see eDrag Racing. Where when the car explodes, it emits a Jacob’s Ladder that zaps spectators.

Just take Marine One next time.

The next logical step is to remaster these commercials with voice-overs in the vein of “Honest Trailers.”

Oh, man! You really had me going there for a moment! I saw the Subie on the side of the road and I was like “THAT can’t be right!”

Crank the music and rock out as it’s slowly being muffled.

Pitiful.

Ah. Hazing. A primitive human custom. Earns nothing, but can cost a lot. Have institutions ever tried just welcoming a person with a party to get to know them, to build camaraderie?

That poor Evo looks like a fawn that just can’t get its belly off the ground.