You’ve just described reasons, but they’re not good reasons to eat terrible pizza! You should eat nothing instead of terrible pizza. Have you thought of that? Eh? You can buy a used BMW 750il for the price of a new Dominos pizza if you know how to do preventative maintenance. Have you really sampled every local pizza…

You gotta stop worshiping at the altar of convenience. What is conveinent is not always what’s expedient. Like eating terrible pizza. You gotta raise your standards, no one else will do it for you, but I know you, Meatface, deserve better than that pizza.

It’s generic the same way the referring to the part of the table that holds it up as a leg is generic. It’s a commonly accepeted term. If I said there is FIGURATIVELY no reason, *that* would seem out of place and sound like I was making a deliberate point to be obtuse, instead of speaking colloquially, so get over it.

You have to get these parasitic kid’s friends off your back! Who to they think they are, demanding horrible pizza from you. Use this as an opportunity to educate them about the hold hard facts of life and learn about disappointment and deferred expectations.

So you don’t even eat dominos, and yet here you are defending it, like we’re in 12 angry men? I’m just looking out for the greater good! I know better! It’s bad pizza! That’s a fact! Case dismissed!

Only like, once or twice a day.

Well here you are misconstruing my crux, that’s just disingenuous. You pick my argument for me and then disprove it? That’s not nice. It’s not my fault you have trouble interpreting arguments. I don’t know whose fault that is...

Look, guy. I’m not the one who preverted the common usage of literally. It was someone else. And you’re not cool for pointing it out, unless you think me in middle school was cool.

I can very well defend that language is not prescriptive, it’s been settled by linguists long before you were born.

Look, you can eat doodoo out of a toilet and you’ll also know exactly what you’re getting (minus the consistency), but for god’s sake it doesn’t mean you should do it!

Look I can’t acccount for your alcoholism, but if you apply your imagination, I think you can scrouge up a better option. I can’t come to where you work and think for you, but please don’t take that as proof that you’re right.

You’re really hung up on a very fine point. I can *understand* it the same way I can understand why people vote against their own interest or why World War I happened. The reason that people get Dominos is a set of complex factors that had to do with a weak Ottoman empire and the fear of a newly independent Serbia.…

And where were you while she was trying to make pizza, you cad? You could have helped! Why did you stand by and let this happen? I feel bad for your girlfriend, trying to break free of Big Pizza while you just sit there and smirk, waiting for her to fail.

Well there you are then. You can order from McDonald’s instead. Why are you so desperate for bad pizza specifically? Get a burger or something. Those are very hard to mess up. Practise self-denial and you will become a better person. Someday you’ll see a Dominos Chevy Spark on fire at the side of the road, an…

I’m sorry you’re not sorry, so I’m sorry enough for the both of us about your terrible taste.

Is this a test to determine whether I’m a cyborg? Plan ahead, drunky.

Buy a frozen pizza from walmart and you’ve just bought a better pizza than Dominos. Make your own pizza. Unless you’re in North Korea where pizza is illegal and then I’m sorry and also hail Kim Il Sung, father of the world.

Hey, uh, friend. I’m not ruining this word. English is a fluid language. I don’t know what cut-rate teacher taught you that language is not a living entity, but everyone knows the figurative funcion of the word “literally” and stamping your feet cause you heard some smug fella talking about how that isn’t “literally”…

A food snob is just a person who knows the variety of delicous things that are out there for the eating. I can plop a 10 dollar rack of ribs on my shitty charcoal grill and eat like a king. You’re living in a food dystopia. If you are gonna discuss what the definition of Good is like a greek philosopher, we’re in for…

Look, buddy. There have been many peer-reviewed tests done to determine that Dominos is objectively the worst pizza. You would have to go out of your way to find a worse pizza. Maybe you live above a Little Ceasar’s. That’s one way. Dominoes themselves acknowledge their pizza is garbage. They are very sorry that you…