I like how his nipples and belly button make a really grumpy face.

I'm not thrilled no one called 911, and my heart is breaking for that little girl. But as a Philadelphia resident, I'm going to go on record as saying that I am pretty damn sure if you called the cops to report a strung out person on a bus in the NE, the only response you would get is hysterical laughing followed by a…

You seem like the type of person who would also blame victims for the clothes they were wearing at the time of their assault.

Can you do us all a solid and just fucking punch him repeatedly in his stupid ugly face next time you see him?

The kind of face you see in class and confide you're a pornstar to, apparently.

That is defiantly true!

"Defiantly" is definitely the best malaprop for "definitely." It creates some great mental images.

I will forever be mad they got rid of analogies.

Vlad the Impaler

You know I'm right! I'd see something from far away that had good colors and think, "Oh, hey! That might work for work. It's a little blousy but I mean, that's alri—- oh fuck, it's got fucking owls again."

oddly cut shit with fucking owls on it.

"And the Oscar goes to.... Matthew McConaughey for "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days"!

Ellen is bombing so badly tonight. Also, is this the most awkward, word stumbly Oscars ever? I don't think one person has delivered their little spiel without fucking up.

Bitch, check your outside-out privelege.

Methinks that your Minx Meter sometimes be broken.

He should get fancy with it. Like put it in Veronica Lake waves or a classic French twist.

I don't know the answer to that question but I'm kinda *worried* about that angry mob. I mean, how are they going to occupy their Sunday *now*, not to mention all those Sundays to come? Do idle pitchforks grow rusty with disuse? So many questions.

Do you think JFK and RFK... like...accidentally rubbed balls? That had to be weird.