Yeah, Mr. Bert is at the bar of his employ today too. Open to close. He sent me a text at around 4 that he'd already been called a douche bag once and been told "you can walk around the other way!" while trying to drop off food to a table. I imagine it'll only get worse as the night progresses.

Catholic high school attendee here, too. I only learned who Emmett Till was when I looked him up after hearing his name in a Kanye West song years ago.

I've come to grips with the fact that I am just never going to have arm muscle tone. I was a Division I rower in college and after 25 hours/wk of training, my arms were, at BEST, not batwings. Some of my teammates had Schwarzenegger arms (k, not really, but very defined). Meanwhile, my legs and butt were toned. I…

That's the worst part— my W/D is in my kitchen and it's free. And I still don't manage to get my sheets in the in the wash more than once a month. Laziness is a son of a bitch!!

How often do you wash your bed sheets? I'm not going to disclose yet because I have a feeling that I do it faaaar less than is socially acceptable.

Oh my

"before you sheath your credit card..."

Kenan Thompson is the least funny person I've ever seen. Every time I see him in a sketch, it just boggles my mind that he is on SNL and has been for years. Am I missing something?

That's great to hear. When I was a kid, I'd have a can of Coke (at LEAST one can) with every meal. I very rarely drink soda now. It's still great with pizza, but... I can't even imagine how shitty I'd feel if I had a soda every time I ate. Up with water!

For the lovers of Resistentialism... Can you give me an example of an inanimate object being spiteful toward you?

I like that he didn't know who Brandi Glanville was after sleeping with her. I get the sense that she thinks she's a big time celebrity, not just some reality TV moron.

Yes! I've been saying he looks like Steve Carell for years and no one agrees. He's way more Carell than the handsome lothario that he thinks he is.

Not on any medication, thanks. And if I were it doesn't change the fact that dogs are the living worst.

I honestly think this attitude comes from a deep-seated and repressed jealousy of your freedom. I am a rather young parent with a group of friends who are nowhere close to having children. And they've made comments in my company about how the thought of birthing/being responsible for a child is repulsive to them. It…

I fucking hate dogs. All of them. And when they come near my son's stroller, I feel a murderous rage.

As much time spent horizontal as possible! I usually sleep a whole lot (as I do in healthy times, as well), but if I'm alert, I like to watch some bad television. The trashier the reality show, the better.

Yes!!! That's was refreshing. And I also liked that she didn't give a shit that he was weird as hell, or what people would think of her if she went for him. She just knew she liked him.

'Butter' was terrible. Don't quite know what I was expecting from a movie about butter sculpting, but... jesus, it was bad. It kept coming up on my Recommended for You screen so I gave it a go.

THAT MOVIE IS HYSTERICAL! I had very low expectations when I started watching and was pleasantly surprised that it was laugh-out-loud funny. Love the characters, too!

My favorite is the exaggerated eyebrow lift. You look like a fucking lunatic with that huge smile and surprised-level eyebrows.