12) Beaker

Why does Kevin have to headbutt a wall? What did the wall do to him? STOP BULLYING!

Sidney Crosby win MVP? HA-HA! SIDNEY CROSBY!

This would have been better if the tiger was wearing the red/white hat. “Cat in the Hat”.

I bet he gets a four game suspension.

A Caps fan in Canada? Wtf.

What’s up?

Or how about, American Idol ruined American Idol.

9. It makes sense.The winner of a race does not come last. The winner of a race comes first. Duh.

The goalie was probably blinded by the horrendous lime green uniform.

I miss Ezio.

Here you go. One whole chicken.

Is that a shoe?? Wtf.

I’m a Rangers fan. And I like Ovechkin (except for that cheapshot last night on McDonagh which should have been a charging call). He’s an intense player. What else is he going to say? “Oh, we’ll try our best.” Of course he is going to say this. This is just the media hyping it up.

If all the Deadspin staff members were stranded on a mountain after a plane crash (a la Alive), who would be eaten first and why?

If all of you were to become homeless today, which Deadspin staff member would turn to prostitution the fastest?

I don’t have time to read this. Is the moral is that he’s sick or something? The Cliff’s Notes version would be nice.