Unfortunately, GG Allin is no longer among the living, because that would be a punk cooking show worth watching.

"it's about making your partner first in your life"

Why don't you just light your tampon, and blow your box apart? Because it's the only bang you're ever going to get, Sweetheart.

I kind of wish Elton John would take all of our exes.

Giuliana Rancic's actual words on having a second child:

Clearly the face of someone who gives two fucks what other people think.

Perez Hilton has done nothing with his life BUT "reduce" other people.

Lastly, according to several shows during LFW, the cool new hairstyle for Spring 2014 will beCharlize Theron as Aileen Wuornos.

Oh, this is just precious.

A suitcase for your fruit... A fruitcase?

This will only be decent if both characters are played by Idris Elba.

Some people pride themselves on saying what everyone is thinking but nobody wants to say. McFarlane seems to pride himself on saying what nobody wants to think.

That's funny. It's almost as if the "people on this site" are rarely the target demographic for anything. It's almost as if the "people on this site" are marginalized in that respect; their voices dismissed when they're offended. It's almost as if the "people on this site" don't want horrendous racist, sexist,…

As my middle school self would say, SO FUNNY I FORGOT TO LAUGH.

I get so fucking annoyed every time I think this is on the radio and instead it's fucking Alan Thicke's son. And then to learn he sued them! What an ass.

And ripped off of the great Marvin Gaye.

Old antibiotics prescriptions with pictures of the appropriate lady stapled to them?

My comic book collection doesn't seem so weird now that I know the guy marrying Jennifer Aniston collects STD action figures.

I cannot fathom having the same hair for so long. I get bored after 3 months.