Every news outlet in the world (including Deadspin) right now has some version of “Old man goes out with 60!” on its front page in block capitals, and then a much smaller headline with “Warriors break record”.

You cynical fucks can go fuck yourselves, 60 points on 50 shots is literally the perfect ending to Kobe’s career.

Porno is the singular form of porn.

...cream cheese, proper hugging technique, beer cans, Kobe.

Love Marcello with the helpful wave “Quick get over here before he’s pissed off not enough of the team came over to celebrate with him.”

And when they retire, people will finally stop bitching about whom is better. The correct answer is both. They are insane. They each have their own strengths, but both of them are so exciting to watch and have been so far above their competition for over a decade (which is insane).

UPDATE THIS SHIT HE DID IT AGAIN

Just for everyone’s information, Messi has 24 goals in 23 games so far in 2016 for Barcelona. (Ronaldo had 19 goals in 20 appearances before tonight in 2016). Messi does not seem that tired or gassed. It was only in February that Ronaldo stormed out of that press conference after being questioned about his poor form.
Ba…

Schurrle this won’t end 2-2.

It depends on what rules you play by. If you play by 2016 rules, Warriors in 5. By 1996 rules, Bulls in 5.

Dennis Rodman would quickly become unplayable under the 2016 rules—nobody would guard him at all. Warriors would swarm the paint, since the Bulls have barely any competent 3 point shooters outside Kerr (MJ: 33%…

We can make fun of him all we want, but tomorrow morning he’s going to wake up living in Tahiti.

Wolves had one no1 pick. They traded away Love to get Wiggins.

Go to sleep Sam.

What most annoyed me about Hinkie and his Stans was that they never defined what a successful outcome to the process would be.

I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.

Dude is a soulless clown. A farcical robot who uses other people’s insight to make himself seem profound, when in reality he is completely full of shit.

I can imagine him reading 1 paragraph deep, making a wanking motion with his hand, and pitching the whole thing in the trash. I don’t see Popp reading 13 pages of this shit.

Hinkie amassed a ton of draft picks and constantly used the 76ers’ cap room to force his way into trades and acquire small assets. There’s an irony in the fact that, with the full quiver of picks that he’s rightfully proud of coming due in the 2016 draft, the smartest move for the 76ers is having anybody but Hinkie…

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that a technobabbling drone produced half a dozen pages of Gladwellian quotes of someone else’s bullshit without any real point or purpose before getting to something that vaguely resembles substance. But the kicker here is basically that there was never actually any plan besides…

There are no foreign players on the USMNT. There are quite a few Americans who were born in foreign countries, however.