How the hell do you name him Lipstick instead of Treesus Christ? Come on, stoner mountain brahs. This isn’t that hard.

Your move detroit

I’m not gonna tell you guys how to do your jobs, but...

Joe Biden is the fucking man.

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

Wait, the punishment is not being allowed *in* Levi’s Stadium? You sure you heard him right?

Washington D.C. (Politico): After weeks of debate and a deadlocked Senate President Richard Sherman finally passed his stadium reform bill by having VP Marshawn Lynch cast the deciding vote. “When it came down to what to do it was a no-brainer to have Marshawn carry it across the goal,” the President said afterwards.

But see, y’all don’t know who is funding it. So it’s not really reporting per se. It’s more of a list of who isn’t funding it, which I find uninteresting. You know who also isn’t funding the Ringer? The Pope! Dennis Rodman! That kid from Jerry Maguire! Boom, I reported.

Irritative*

“Few people seem to care about our sport. What’s the move here?”

Sure a terrible officiating team gets disbanded after one season, but we just let the Cleveland Browns keep on being a thing.

It's a fabrication about majors. It was a pun, dummy.

Earlier this week, during a Arizona/Los Angeles game on the MLB network, Vin explained why the foul pole has the netting. Apparently it all stems from a particular game at the Polo Grounds in the 1930s. A GAME VIN SCULLY WAS AT.

I have a harder time explaining Michael Jordan’s moves as owner Charlotte to my 7 year old than I do explaining homosexuality. He understands that it’s okay that a guy can be in love with a guy, he has no idea why Jordan chose Marvin Williams over Chris Paul and neither do I for that matter.

Simmons actually watches the NBA.

So, it looks like we’ve finally discovered what it takes to get the police to prosecute someone for accidentally shooting a black man.

If there’s anything Simmons is capable of, it’s trying the same thing over and over again until he gets the response he’s looking for.

And to think that this is merely the first of two interviews the Cowboys require before signing a player.

[REDACTED] is a hell of a drug