And any year now, he’ll never make six figures again. You’d be a really shitty financial adviser.

Who named that bald eagle Chinook? Why doesn’t he get a real American name? Sad!

People who enjoy soccer and wish tournaments weren't decided by penalty kicks.

Soccer is a sport that has been played for generations. basketball is a gym class game designed to keep schoolkids running around indoors without hurting themselves during shitty New England winters.

Counterpoint: PKs is fine.

Must be a bummer having to look at all the people your government is neglecting to feed, house and educate so that they can subsidize your entertainment.

LeBron is way the best basketball player in the world, and has been for every moment of his NBA career.

Great thyming on this post, Emma.

He probably has a much larger penis as well.

I didn’t say they’re confused. I said they’re messing with me so I die sooner and they can have all my stuff.

Are you Dadboner?

Kimbo Slice is dead.

Ken Starr’s world:

Question: What did Kipnis yell at him when he fell behind the Mustard Guy?

so you’re saying that Holmes’s blood business isn’t liquid?

“All schools let their athletes go after women, so why go after this school?” Is that seriously something that was just said?

Hill had no formal responsibility within the football program, the person said, but had been at Baylor for 15 years in a variety of roles and was unofficially very involved with the football program.

Ms. Moskovitz has been the absolute consummate professional covering this beat, and in my opinion has done work worthy of the highest accolades. She is a journalist first and foremost, but as a woman I wouldn't blame her in the least for feeling an uncontrollable rage and hatred towards these revelations. And you are…

Giroud: Thank you, Paul, I didn’t get service like that all season!

I unfortunately didn’t get to see much of their series against the Spurs, just the slackjawed shellshock on the faces of my San Antonian in-laws. Did this lineup play a part in that series too, or did the Spurs just suddenly crumble into old dust, vampire-style?