who used to work at BuzzFeed and now works at Facebook

Breyer fucking sucks. How can anyone look at what happened with Ruth Bader-Ginsburg, i.e. getting replaced by her polar opposite with the likely outcome that many, if not most, of the advances she contributed to in her career will be reversed, and think “Yeah, makes sense to hold on”?  It’s the height of selfishness. …

lmao sorry the city has taken away a spot (that definitely would have been empty and waiting for you if it weren’t for those meddling bikes!) for your private property to sit unused for an arbitrary number of hours/days and replaced it with ~10 vehicles per spot that anyone can use at any time cry me a fucking river

Shhh. Let me set the hook and see where this fish goes.

Sir, it appears your facetiousness detector was not brought in for its last calibration. Please attend to that before expressing further umbrage on the internet.

Toasting before splitting had never occurred to me.

Ha. After I toast and butter I close it up and rotate top sides once or twice to help evenly distribute the pools of butter in the crannies. If I feel like having a “light” day I sometimes shake a little of the extra butter out of the crevices... usually tiny people could swim in the melted butter pools of my english…

Whew! I was bracing myself for some new elaborate, precious process. Glad to know the old-fashioned fork is still best. Thanks for the confirmation!

A friend made this for you all.

Argh...

What *actually* happened was that in 1807, the astronomers thought that there was 11 planets in our solar system. By 1853, that number of planets increased from 11 to 23. Then, a new definition was created and 15 of those “planets” became known as “asteroids.”

In 1930, when Pluto was discovered, they called it a…

Seems like a lot of Texans share commonalities with the Taliban. Love of guns, and control of women. However I am concerned about Jan’s future plans regarding her sex work. Clearly her birth control failed her. Does she have other ideas about how to protect her health and prevent more unwanted prenancies? I am…

I’m glad everything went well for you. I had an abortion at 8 weeks pregnant at an Austin clinic in 1999 when I lived there. It was easy-peasy, with no complications and no protesters, thankfully. I was in graduate school and there’s no way I would have been able to travel out of state. My heart breaks for everyone…

You should do a listicle on all the foods for which “too much” does not apply.

It’s not so much about “better”. It’s more (and this is my fault for making the comment about me, when it’s more about the “art world” in general) the principle of it, that someone can sell their work for whatever they want if they know the right people (which is a super-privileged position to be in in the first…

I can see someone with money buying one just for bragging rights, but they’d have to be pretty dumb to think it would somehow buy them influence with the WH. Does anyone really think Joe would say “Gee, this guy spent half a mil on my son’s painting, I guess I should give him something in return”? Doubtful in my…

Hi, Folks! Mod Motor Guy, the shop owner checking in again!

Dealership is in the wrong. Allow me to explain my shop’s insurance policy, and you will soon see....

1. General liability - this is EXACTLY as it sounds. If I am out driving your car for whatever reason, be it a test drive, a delivery, or anything general…

Texas doesn’t have the guts to secede, everyone knows it. Texan is just easy way of saying big talking coward. And if Texans get pissy, then go ahead and prove me wrong. But they won’t, because they are.

I know this is Jalop heresy but people really did like the no haggle buying experience.  

Teachers and nurses are the biggest yin-yang of seemingly boring professionals who get absolutely wild off hours. 

Saturn wasn’t just “Chevy, but better.”