why won’t this let me insert an image??? no matter how many times I drag it. no matter what format. no matter if i ‘upload’ it. or drag it. or go to https. wtf.

Well, at least she’s got the tin-foil part going for her..

If you’re shuddering now, take it from me.

Ranch dressing does not belong on pizza. It belongs on wings, and that’s it. Maybe salad. Maybe.

Kansas makes sense to hate shellfish. By the time it gets there, how much of it can really be good anymore?

I see where all the good dreams I’m supposed to be having go.

HA HA NO!

No. It’s not ‘bread’, it’s cake. Therefore, it is not a sandwich. It is a double-layer cake.

perhaps a Catholic priest could officiate.

I fell in love with Voss when I did a medical research study, and got a coupon for free lunch in the diner in the building. My local grocery store doesn’t carry it, found out walmart does. Which means I’ll never have Voss seltzer again.

I fell in love with Voss when I did a medical research study, and got a coupon for free lunch in the diner in the…

I had my teeth cleaned last week, and the hygienist asked me how much soda I drank. Told her none. Then she asked me how much seltzer I drank. I told her a couple cans a day, she warned me against drinking too much. Said (and I had known, but forgotten) that seltzer is an acid, and will eat the enamel right off my…

I had my teeth cleaned last week, and the hygienist asked me how much soda I drank. Told her none. Then she asked me…

I love this whole thing. I can’t wait to get my hands on this cookbook.

Is that what that guy was about? the grocery store where the guy put the celary down his pants, rubbed it, and then put it back?

All that data will be there. I think it’s smart to pull those locks. We have the same kind where I work, for security reasons.

Really? I’m not sure you want to go there, unless I’m missing something you’re in the wrong neighborhood...

The skin! My favorite part!

Potatoes are full of piss?

I am 61 years old. I have never had spiders come out of a Christmas tree and I always have a real tree. I don’t think this is a common thing.

It happens. It happened to me. I just picked up the pieces, put butter on them, and carried on.