“We were aware of this incident after it occurred and we immediately began conducting an administrative investigation into the conduct of the officer involved, which will completely exonerate him and assign all blame to that dubious-looking guy with the ‘Mentos,’ which, every officer knows, are most commonly used…

I saw that he was speaking by all the feeds on FB Live. I had my workstation on mute. All I saw was him with his “disgusted” look and then he walks away from the podium shaking his head, looking out to the crowd as, presumably, they cheered him, and he comes back and soaks it all in like the Mango Mussolini he is.

I know somebody who went to the worst law school in Georgia that routinely loses their accreditation but this woman was a bad bitch and super, super sharp. She is an immigrant and I think that probably had something to do with her choice. Meanwhile I went to a good law school and I am a moron lmao.

WRT the ‘shoot someone on 5th Ave’ comment:

Truly the Trump Steaks of law schools

The only thing better than Giuliani’s performance yesterday would be if he went back on Hannity tonight and released Trump’s tax returns.

“They’re acting like storm troopers—give me a break, baby!”

ghouliani totally went full holdmybeer.

It’s like 45 went on fox and friends and said all those bat shit crazy things so they sent Giuliani out to try and out crazy him.

This season of Celebrity Attorney is off to a great start.

I had an aff....*retching sound*... an affair *more retching*.... with Tr*vomits on self. chokes, dies*

And I’m not getting excited until he actually suffers a consequence BEFORE MY VERY EYES.

When in the fuck did Rudy Fucking Giuliani suddenly become concerned about clandestine government surveillance?

Somewhere Devin Nunes is scratching his head, puzzled as he’d thought this issue had been nipped in the bud.

Everyone knows that you can do all the illegal shit you want, as long as you do it through a lawyer because of privilege guys.  

Please forever lay to rest the superiority of rich white men.

Per Trump, if you pretend you had an affair with him he would pay you $130,000 not to lie about it?

I keep trying to figure out if Guilliani is that stupid or if they’re playing 7 dimensional chess with us. Easy to call him stupid, but I don’t think he’s that stupid.

DUCK SEASON, FIRE!!!

So, Trump is going to tweet in a few hours that Giuliani has never been his lawyer and he barely knows him, amirite?