Nah, Lizzo. I think the world wants you in it, makin’ catchy records, playin’ historical-ass flutes, and all that shit.
I could be wrong, but i gather that the world just doesn’t want you to be really really shitty to your staff.

The scribes at The National Archives say it bears a terrible curse!

This is not the way to handle a situation where you being accused of very questionable behavior. If there is an innocent explanation, say so. These rants feed into the current perception that Lizzo is an entitled diva. I have loved her music, but she’s going to end up a forgotten person if she keeps this up.

We should never have let her anywhere near James Madison’s flute!

 She should’ve just apologized and paid half of what she’s paying her lawyers to the dancers.

my character being picked apart by people who don’t know me and disrespecting my name. I didn’t sign up for this shit

Even the unhealthiest guy in his 20s is still in better shape physically than a guy pushing 60.

I don’t have any kind of idea how much Tyson has kept up his fitness over the years. He could still be in amazing shape if he kept himself up. I’d personally love it if he beat Jake Paul to a pulp, but I don’t think Jake Paul would go in the ring with him if there was any chance of that happening - so that makes me…

Oh yeah? You get in the ring with Tyson and let us know how that goes for you. If Kotaku is still around by the time you get out of your coma that is. 

27 years ago, this made me gay 

Dedicated to the Steelworkers of America. Keep reaching for that rainbow!

This isn’t Kotaku’s fault. The song was written and performed by C+C Music Factory with Martha Wash (half of the Weather Girls, aka, “It’s Raining Men”) as uncredited vocals on that song (also a bit of irony considering this clip).

No. It’s C&C Music Factory’s song, because they didn’t credit someone how they should or whatever, doesn’t mean it’s not their song. They performed music for years before and after.

Also the 27th anniversary of me saying “Hot stuff coming through” every time I have to get around anyone. A timeless joke never gets old, right?

I still say “Hot stuff, comin’ through!” And “Zzzzzap!” From time to time.

As someone whose dad’s name is Bruce, that episode has made me laugh for almost 30 years. 

They’ve correctly predicted 11 of the last 20 Super Bowl winners.

So, to summarise, this is clickbait and Madden games don’t know what they’re talking about, right?

“I was wrong all of this time, Xbox doesn’t care about us, Microsoft doesn’t care about us. We’ve been fighting this war for nothing.”

They are not doing us a favor by offering a Battle Pass that doesn’t expire, even though it “only has Cosmetics.” They... know we can remember the previous Batman games that just had costumes in them, right? Or the three Spider-Man games? Not gonna cheer you on for selling “just cosmetics” instead of including them as…