Oh, gods, yes, the texts I get from my ex.

Seeing him makes me ravenous.

I think this is the hilarious other side of the coin to, “if you are an abortion clinic, you must have admitting procedures at a nearby hospital.”

“If you’re a crisis center, you must acknowledge that you are in no way medical-center affiliated...” HOW DARE YOU.

“I have deeply held religious beliefs that I need to be able to lie to all the patients!”

I’m not really sure we can call this Brady “pushing” the sketchball on him when sleazy Canucks owner is attempting to verbally fellate Brady to get him to talk to his players.

I think that facial expression is the result of the system glitch that occurs in the prefrontal cortex when someone tries to use new-age philosophies of creating ‘love, joy and kindness’ and ‘vibrating at a higher frequency’ in the justification of vulture-capitalist philosophies of selling bitterness, judgement and…

When I moved to The Big City after growing up in a tiny burg, I noticed that the severely mentally ill homeless people there were better-dressed than my parents. It’s confusing out there.

I legit want those fisherman pants.

Agreed. Is this “Derelicht” from “Zoolander?”

Yes!! As if I'm the one standing in a dingy bathroom in my underwear lecturing strangers. And I'm sorry but that hair screams Miss Iowa circa 1987.

Anyone else getting REAL tired of people in athleisure attire trying to assert their need for you to worship them?

I’ve spent my entire life leaving bad reviews about myself, I mean, once my badness was drilled into me by my parents: 1. A bit bipolar 2. I’m a phony, but a real phony. 3. Substance issues galore!!! 4. Lazy 5. Not as clever as I think I am. 6. Everyone is looking at me! 7. I'm hopeless with puzzles, and not the…

Concur. Even Jane’s “joke” pieces are better. (Kind of dig those fisherman pants.)

The craziest thing to me is that this aesthetic reminds me of extreme poverty. When I think of homeless people or some of the people who live in the Brazilian favelas, that’s the kind of stuff they wear (because they can’t afford clothing and take donations and whatnot). And then this dude comes in and launches this…

That reminds me of a fun anecdote I heard a while back:

Well, yes. And their worst nightmare would be having poor white people recognize that the “poor” part is actually more important than the “white” part and start voting that way. Hence the constant dog-whistle racism (and more and more mainstream-audible racism).

Gross.

Poor Bristol. She’s always the babymama, never the bride.

Yeah, I remember when the Olsen twins, who are the same age as me, turned 18. All kinds of skeeziness was being posted on the interwebs, salivating about how they’re finally legal. Because yes, those seemingly nice young women would really want to get it on with you in your dank basement on your futon.