Cheer up. You probably always make the short list.

SHUT UP! SHUT UP! How is this considered value-added? The crowd likes her? Instead of saying that 30 times in 90 seconds, JUST LET ME HEAR THE CROWD!

This video is a great argument in favor of announcers shutting the fuck up.

(including long-awaited homegrown Wimbledon glory)

or list him by his proper title, “Dale Hansen - National Treasure”

I think we’ve reached the point where you need to start listing him as Dale Hansen instead of “Dallas Sportscaster.” I get that there’s a certain novelty to what Deadspin uses, and I know whenever I see his face I think “Oh, it’s the Woke Texan,” but he’s been doing this for long enough. It undersells who he is as a…

I fucking called it!

“...but there are few clubs better positioned to let Pulisic succeed than Chelsea.”

Addiction is such a terrible demon to battle. Mental health issues, the same. To hell with the football games, I hope that Josh gets his life and his mental health straightened out soon. I feel for him.

Where is this mystery man??

The comments on the Giz article about this are priceless. Did you know: if you criticize Elon Musk at all, it’s only because you’re shorting the stock? It’s true, the commenters told me!

No snark: He seems like a good dad. 

Well a prophylactic recall turned me into parent

I feel bad for Daniel but this is tremendous content. 

The price is inversely proportional to the significance of the summit. 

Yeah! Make Tottenham play matches in an empty home ground!

I know Gruden is bad, but to lump him with Gruden, Gruden, Gruden, Gruden, and Gruden?  That seems harsh.

I’d appreciate if you could update the poll to reflect the appropriate RGB color code for each Jon Gruden.

I feel like Mark Davis could decide to have his nose removed and no one would notice for weeks.

And the 2017 “I Can’t Believe I’m Fucking Doing This, I Was In Harry Potter, Who Are These Imbeciles. I Need To Fire My Agent” award goes to Emma Watson for “The Circle”.