Bathtub full of semen! Bathtub full of semen!
It sounds amusing at first but it might actually be a hazard since semen gets all gelatinous.
On the other hand, "drowned in a bathtub full of semen" would be wonderful thing to have in my obituary.

I REALLY hope he isn't a history teacher.

I mean, I own tarot cards too, although I don't believe them. I just use them to figure out what I'm thinking sometimes. They're symbolic without having any definite meaning, which is great for projecting whatever you happen to be preoccupied with.

You watch a marathon with A Talking Cat!?! xD I saw the cinemasnob episode of that. It looked amazing.

Hooraayy!

I saw that news story and thought they were using "fed to the dogs" metaphorically.
No. No they aren't :(

It's neat that the 42 year old woman whose friends think she talks about sex too much manages to include the extraneous information that she squirts all the time.

The Ambien moments are real apparently. My sister's coworker bought a boat on ebay while in an Ambien haze. Then she was terribly surprised to find a boat in her driveway and had to return it.

I always enjoy the ones that are "we have an amazing relationship, except for this huge and glaring flaw that precludes any chance of getting along".

"You need to hire a sex worker! Then marry them, and have a fulfilling monogamous relationship with them."

I think that's more how you keep the cute couple interested once you're having threesomes.

The video just goes on and on when you really want it to end xD.
One strange video deserves another:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5V8KzE4XDoc .

In my high school there were teddy bears and singing telegrams. Of course, one guy had to outdo everybody and get his girlfriend a huge ass teddy bear (it was literally 3/4 of her size). She dragged it to the second class and then gave up and asked the teacher to keep it there until after school XD

Fixed it. Science has been defended!

Texting your friend every day to tell them one good thing about your boyfriend is a crime against humanity and should be prosecuted accordingly.

You sexy Capra aegagrus hircus you!

For underwear you might want to buy something that's made with dicks in mind. It's probably more expensive, but it might be worth it in terms of comfort. I know there's a site called xdress that sells stuff like that. I'm sure there's other sites too somewhere on the big wide web.

I misread Christopher Guest as Christopher Robin and all sorts of unfortunate mental imagery went on in my head.

Golden showers and prostitutes are totally wholesome. The thing that gets me is hating the Obamas so much that he rented a hotel room they stayed in a while back and hired people to pee all over the bed and "defile" it with him.
That's so completely twisted and petty that it made my day.
I think there's a solution here…

Yeah, I'd be curious about that one too-maybe that isn't such a good idea for a euphemism.