Yeah, I’ll buy a heavily modified truck from a guy who took a picture of the SVT badge with a camera with a strap.

If you’ve given a woman a real orgasm, you’ll recognize the fake ones. And that’s just embarrassing.

#FloridaMan

Recently shopped for a motorcycle after refinancing the house and decided I couldn’t buy a Harley because there seems to be a lifestyle that’s expected to go with it.

The plan remains for Takata to stop making air-bag inflators and simultaneously launch bankruptcy proceedings in the U.S.

I used this technique and banged Margot Robbie three times last week. I’d tell you more, but I’m feeling sleepy.

It’s come a long way from the days when we planned to knock down incoming ICBMs with nuclear detonations.

Dunn suggests dividing housework based on who likes or loathes what chores.

Not umami, it’s oooooo noggg eeeee

Yes! Stop objectifying us!

I drive a a beautifully clean SUV in “Limited” trim. It always smells nice and there’s never any garbage in it. I get it washed twice a month at one of those nice car washes where they hand wipe it, inside and out. I open doors and the hatch for my passengers. I help them carry their bags.

I make BARELY more than…

It’s not Tom Brady 2. It’s Tom Brady number 2.

My Places for Google Maps. I used to be able to look up any place on Google Earth (it didn’t have to be an address), pin it, then import those pins to Google Maps and navigate to them in my car. Google took away the functionality a couple years back, and I had to go buy a Garmin.

YOU need to chill the fuck out. You attribute photos to their photographers, not to the fucking people who share them. Rolling Stone is responsible for creating the photo, she attributed the photo to Rolling Stone, correctly. Barring an unnecessarily long attribution explanation “This photo is from Rolling Stone but…

Rachel Dolezal checking in.

Don’t be a dick. You accused her of blurring something she didn’t blur, so now you’re gonna change the subject to being a question of attribution. You were wrong. Fuck off now.

Not until they start making them look like REGULAR FUCKING CARS. Why do they have to make hybrids and electrics look so goddamn retarded?

I’m like a chainsaw
I’ll skin your ass raw
and if my day keeps going this way I just might
BREAK YOUR FUCKING FACE TONIGHT

3 Doors Down are from a tiny town in Mississippi, so no surprise there.

I once worked for a nationally syndicated radio talk show host who couldn’t (I mean, under any circumstances, COULD NOT, no matter how many times we reminded him) remember that Mario Cuomo was dead. Every single time he came up in conversation, he referred to Andrew Cuomo as Mario Cuomo.