I referred to a couple guys as “hipsters” the other day and boy did they get upset. Apparently the politically correct term is “conjoined twins”.

Moonlight for everything. Even the stuff it wasn’t nominated for. Thanks.

I mean, he has a point. In this shot it does look pretty crowded.

Every time you write an article like this and cry “plagiarism” ... even in jest ... where there is none, you strengthen the opposition. It allows them to go, “See ... fake news” and encourage people to ignore anything said about the President, even when it’s true.

On the eve of the inauguration, I think it’s a good time to remember that under President Obama, twenty million Americans gained health insurance, cutting the percentage of uninsured Americans to single digits; same-sex marriage was legalized; DADT was repealed; combat positions were opened to women and transgender…

Greet family members with a solid handshake

The real question is whether the public have the media literacy and civic literacy to even be alarmed at this. I think the answer is no, and has been for some time. Trump is taking advantage of this preexisting vulnerability.

you know what i will miss most about obama?

He always seemed nice. Which made it a real fucking shame he handed the country off to literal Emperor Palpatine, Dick Cheney.

I guess the great crime here is that Hillary failed to offer up impossible and worthless platitudes to these folks. I don’t look down on working class people, my father certainly falls into that category. However, you’re selling snake oil to these people if you try to convince them that manufacturing is coming back as…

2000 was my very first political election as a voting adult. I remember feeling such horror. I wish I could tell 18 year old me to hush, that just 16 years in the future it would be 100x worse and I should just enjoy the insanity for the moment in time that it is.

I just spent about 30 seconds enjoying watching my toothless slobbering spawn try to gum a french fry. It’s Halloween, let him live.

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THEY ARE NOT REOPENING THE INVESTIGATION! Stop with these misleading headlines and read Comey’s actual letter, a portion of which you posted here.

I now like to think of the current band as a Blink 182 - Alkaline Trio - Aquabats supergroup.

I’m writing in Tom Bergeron because I think he deserves better than Dancing with the Stars.

Go see it during a morning matinee when there’s fewer people in the audience and give it the MST3K treatment.

In addition to that, they’re also using that filter that makes everyone look like they’re made of silly putty...

"A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime."