Online training lesson #1: Don’t touch the wrestlers’ dicks.
Online training lesson #2: If you see someone else touching the wrestlers’ dicks, do something instead of pretending you didn’t see it.

That about covers it, I think?

Armies can have a left, right, and center and move as one from county to county. When your army and another army that you’re at war with enter the same space, you fight, which is just a little popup showing the daily progress of the battle (you can pause after every single day if you want or play at a speed where a…

“This kid is so promising, he could be the next Derrick Rose!”

Pretty tough for him to be “not long for the T-Wolves” when they’re contractually obligated to pay him $147 million over the next five seasons.

I saw the Spasmodic Lurches in concert last week. Pretty good show, would recommend.

If you think having a higher seed than a Lebron team gives you a better playoff chance than a Lebron team, yeah, you’re pretty damn delusional. If you don’t think that, then I don’t know why you’d bring up seeding at all.

Keep calm, get the match into extra time, and from there The Old Lady could lay it all on the line for a fourth goal that would’ve all but guaranteed their progression into the semifinals. Even if Real had scored in extra time, the Italians would’ve still been in pretty good position since they’d still only be a goal…

Lost in all this is why any journalistic outlet would pay these reporters to, apparently, go to whatever expensive steakhouse Jerry Jones’s bus is outside of, verify that his party is in fact in a private room, and then hang around and have comped drinks until 3 am while making meaningless small talk with other…

Well, you know, the fans are just really upset about concussions and the players expressing their political views. If the owners don’t fix these existential crises the decline in the audience will just continue.

So, he’s “going to go down as one of the greatest players ever”, is “without a doubt the number one quarterback in the draft”, and his biggest issue is “his aptitude is so significant”. Therefore the team picking first should select a different, worse quarterback instead. And he finds it interesting and curious that…

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that on the vast majority of occasions in which people complain about Ronaldo not even bothering to walk back to midfield or play any defense whatsoever, he was not under explicit orders from coaches to that effect.

The whole point Clay is making is that he and his audience think that kind of behavior is acceptable. If he really thinks that kind of behavior is acceptable, surely he wouldn’t have a problem doing it himself, right? Or are you suggesting that his bosses at Fox Sports are perfectly ok with having someone on staff who…

As a Mountain Time Zone resident, I can confirm it’s definitely the best for sports. Wake up on a fall Sunday, Premier League games at 7 am and 9 am, NFL kickoffs at 11 am/2:30/6:30, primetime games in every sport over at 10 pm right in time for a normal sleep schedule. Got home from work yesterday and March Madness…

The same thing old people have against everything that results in a slight change to their normal routine - a general attitude of annoyance and strong antipathy to any sort of change whatsoever.

On the plus side, I’m pretty sure Congress is now done passing anything for the year. The odds of Rubio’s bill ever getting anywhere seem incredibly remote.

I certainly don’t consider myself an MLS expert, but unless he’s permanently screwed from the knee injury, is there actually anyone in the MLS that’s better than 36-year-old Zlatan?

It’s entirely possible to believe both that young star baseball players are getting massively screwed over by a system that allows this sort of chicanery and also that the correct move for your team is to do exactly that to hold onto your young players.

And yeah, the lack of ability or interest in caring about…

“An equivalent value of gold or silver” LOL. Dude, if you’re so far down the rabbithole that you don’t understand why it’s wildly inappropriate to compare the mining of naturally scarce actual metals with the “mining” of artifically scarce electronic tokens, you’re not gonna have much luck with the whole “yeah I…

Exactly. The racism, wannabe jock rhetoric, and homophobia have always been a part of multiplayer gaming and other parts of geek culture, especially when anonymity is involved. It only seems more common now because the internet and technology are far more ubiquitous than earlier decades, so instead of just flame wars…

People love the idea of being able to correct obvious incorrect calls if there’s clear evidence, and they also love their sports to be entertaining and action-packed. A replay system that does both is popular; a replay system that fails the latter without necessarily showing significant improvement in the former is…