If there is a just and caring God in this world, Tebow will find himself playing for the AA Binghamton (cock) Gobblers sometime next year.

Who the fuck is Martin Shrekli?

Obama let China steal America’s MNF bumper music! Sad!

You meant to write two rats fucking in a wool sock, right?

You know what else has been cupped?

Couldn’t get away.

So, the bull won?

Your ranking of piss terms is bullshit. You left out micturate. That really harshed my mellow, dude.

Who the hell is Emily Austen and what the fuck is Facebook Live? I swear to Christ and all that’s holy, these kids today with the chatting and the sexting and the tweetering ... Now get the hell off my lawn.

Personally, I prefer New Balance shoes over Nike. They’re wider, and far more comfortable. Much like Berian, you couldn’t pay me to wear Nike shoes.

I had three, because there sure-as-shit ain’t gonna be Social Security after President Trump privatizes it and i’m gonna need somewhere to stay when i’m old and senile.

When I drop my kids off at school, the last thing I say to them is, “Smell ya later!”

It was a, “grown-ass man.”

Yeah, I went with Gobblers so when they come to my town I can sit near the visiting bullpen and call ‘em Cock Gobblers.

Looks like you’ll just have to reconcile yourself with the fact that you’ll likely have this issue forever.