Somebody gave him a roasted guinea-pig-on-a-stick somewhere in South America and right before he bit into it he sang “Linny...Tuck....and Ming-Ming too....We’re Wonder Pets and we’ll help you”. Dude was just a normal dad of a toddler like me.

All right, Church of Satan. You’re up to bat. Don’t disappoint me.

It was fall tour ‘94. We were at Patriot Center in Fairfax, VA (my first Guyute). A bro rockin’ wool socks with Teva sandals and a “We Enjoy Themselves” T-shirt launched one over my right shoulder that looked like it was headed for the abyss. Somehow my 20-something body managed to reach near-Gumby stretchability and…

How the hell do you run on top of portapotties in weather like that

Finding out Roseanne Arnold can’t afford the deductible for knee surgery is the most schadenfreude I’ve ever had for a fictional character. It laid Draco Malfoy Getting Turned Into A Ferret to waste

Ass

He could win the governorship of NY in a cakewalk. We are only a position-on-vaccines away from the Cuomo-Nixon vote being split 50-50.

Shame on you for not including “The Past is a Grotesque Animal”.

So who at the MPAA did Tim Burton have to fellatiate to get a PG for Beetlejuice despite “NICE FUCKIN’ MODEL”?

My dad reads Mark Trail online every day. He’s impressed by how “witty” the commenters are.

The Dreamers. Just a pan from top to bottom of the Eiffel Tower to Third Stone From the Sun.

Sweet cover

My favorite musical memory of 1989 is the Headbanger’s Ball Tour where I found a stud bracelet on the floor and threw it at the lead singer of Helloween. Nailed him in the face.

I’m fine with the Twins being mad as long as the end result is a bench-clearing brawl, the prospect of which is the only reason I’ll spend money on a MLB ticket.

The Sabres have been around for almost half a century and they have like 8 total championship banners in their rafters (this includes division titles). I’ve been arguing that they should raise a “CLINT MALARCHUK DIDN’T DIE” banner since that’s pretty much the high point of the franchise.

The rules about this have already been laid out:

The world needs fewer English football fans and more Irish football fans.

I look forward to them recreating the last 10 minutes of Up.

I fully expect him to win because somehow the dem vote will get split in half, probably for some asinine reason like vaccines or something.