What happened to your 50-60 pages of citations?

I showed this to one of my friends and she was all "only you would dig something like that up!"

Congratulations! It's only 10:30am, but I'm pretty sure I've just now seen the most disturbing thing I'll see today. The worst part is, I think I'm into it...

Make one look like a diva cup with strawberry milk.

or kale. I want a tip that involves sexily rubbing kale all over my partner's body.

Vancouver has a horrific drug problem. The reasons are complicated, ranging from the f'ing government closing vast wings of the psychiactric hospital and turning mentally ill people onto the streets about ten years ago, to being one of the warmest places in the country and acting as a magnet for drifters from…

I don't think you're qualified to be judging other people's apologies considering how terrible you are at them yourself.

1. Calling Sheridan "just outside of Portland" in either geography or philosophy betrays a woeful lack of understanding of Sheridan, Portland, and Oregon in general.

For some reason Portland got it. Sorry, Scientologists, but there are limits to the stupid shit Portlanders will buy into. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a gluten-free muffin and some unfluoridated water to dig into.

Dear Powers that Be at Jezebel:

Did you get your $10,000 bounty up front, or is Jezebel sending the check in the mail?

LOL oh I know. Dude, I for one live in a garret shooting up heroin and wallowing in filth with my rat friends. I even have to steal wifi from the junkies downstairs to perform my armchair psychology. Oh and I'm completely mad obvs. Just a typical GTer.....

If the Atlanta Braves stop trying to scam the public out of huge sums of money we will stop publishing articles about the Atlanta Braves trying to scam the public out of huge sums of money.

It goes great with the dried-out turkey it came from, I'm sure.

Exactly. And I want my turkey to have moisture left in it when I eat it. Stuff the damn bird with onions and lemons and herbs and make your stuffing in a pan. The bird will be better, the stuffing will be better, and you won't die.

Make stuffing outside the bird, using sausage and dried cranberries. It's more delicious and doesn't have the consistency of an uncooked can of Spam.

Tomorrow, the press will become Mad Dogs when they find out Ford's pussy Posse recently taped themselves being butt Pirates.

/obscure