First off, this is Behind Closed Ovens. The entire point of the feature is to give servers an oportunity to speak that the Yelps and consumer advocates of the world don’t. So everything here is about servers.

Don’t know about anyone else, but since I never abuse servers, accept the answers to questions when I ask someone knowledgeable on matters and tip well, yes, that does make me superior to them.

If Barrow is the most American cuisine, it would be whale meat instead of chicken and the loaf of wheat bread would cost $84.99.

No. Pinkham’s Law comes into effect if that behavior was being pointed out as dumb and you came in all “NO THAT IS JUST FINE YOU ARE ALL WRONG AND POOPYHEADS.”

It’s vegetarianism for people who can’t spell or pronounce pescetarian.

Time to place your bets on what story will be subject to Pinkham’s Law first.

If you read BCO regularly, you will not only discover that yes, there are people that stupid, but there are other people who will come here and attempt to justify said behavior.

Hi, Marcos.

Obviously it was a Triple Threat match.

The Cleveland Gladiators’ attempt at a Hulk Hogan-themed TD celebration did not go over nearly as well with their crowd.

I smell what they’re cooking.

If they wanted to fuck things up with cinnamon booze, they should have done it with Goldschlager. Imagine the sparkly wings!

I know, I see all those wins with Teemo in the LCS and LCK every week...

Somewhere, relaxing in a vat of virgin blood, Roger Ailes and Rupert Murdoch got a hard-on listening to this.

+1 open primary vote

It was also possibly going to be Boston, Oregon, but Portland won the coin toss. Seriously.

But did any of the first-day visitors get measles?

I am a fan of the Giants, while C.A. Is a Nats fan. We constantly mock each other’s fandom while simultaneously sharing hatred for anything to do with the Satan Louis Cardinals.

And me without my gimp suit!

You order something that defies all sanity and logic, abuse the barista until you’re thrown out of the shop, then say you’re going to sue everyone.