Jaws, always and forever it’s Jaws. 

You crushed it bro.

This has nothing to do with the story, but here goes anyway:

If you smell what the Rock is cookin... It’s asparagus.

“Dwayne Johnson (hereafter refer to as ‘The Rock’) will be limited to handing off a maximum of 2 bottles of his urine during a rolling 24 hour period.”

If I were Biden and SCOTUS ruled for Trump, I’d immediately have him assassinated.

I think its to save the Tesla owner the embarrassment of being seen outside with a Tesla.

This is the best thing I have read from the AV Club in a long, long time. Beautiful, heartbreaking essay!

Wait until they find out the original Juliet actor was a man.

Have you ever seen the movie “Teeth”?

“shai-hulussy”

We’re still in the escrow period.

How the hell is Memento not on this list? It was the first film I can remember to really drive home the futility of the revenge-at-all-costs trope and launched the career of one of our finest filmmakers.

Was on the way to work, stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly my car started shaking and vibrating. I sit there think, “Oh great, what’s wrong with my car, I hope I make it into work,...” then I looked up and noticed the traffic light was swinging back and forth. Earthquake.

for posterity

Well you see, when one wants to take a molehill and convince others that it’s actually a mountain, a bit of creative license is necessary. 

Thankfully we’re still safe in the knowledge that microwaves heat food using dangerous radiation.

Reester Bunnies beat Reese’s eggs for me. The chocolate/peanut butter filling ratio is perfect, and the chocolate is slightly darker (so more bitter) and better quality than what’s used for Reese’s cups, eggs, etc.

In the immortal words of Norm MacDonald:

I dunno, I think Baldwin might have missed his shot.