Do you give the other person the full order of fries, or do you keep it for yourself? This is a moral dilemma you may face

No ones needs to write it for me, as “Yakety Sax” already exists.

You have a higher chance of going to Hawaii and getting attacked by Ezra Miller than you do getting attacked by a shark.

It’s absolutely criminal that this series didn’t last.

My wife would totally not be on board with me doing this. Pretty bad advice here, Lifehacker.

The Academy Of Motion Pictures Arts And Sciences —> The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences

The correct time to spend in the shower is the amount of time it takes to briefly wipe away the crippling depression you have and/or finish your beer. 

Perhaps that’s what he was counting on

In the US: Chicago’s L. It’s cheap ($2.50 per ride with free transfers between bus and train), it’s connected to everything that matters (you can get to both airports via L, *ahem* NEW YORK) and they’re reliable.

Just wait until episode 4 when a new episode of the Mandalorian starts playing...

If you need a big vehicle, minivans are ideal for most everything except large towing. I recently did the following with my minivan in the last month:

In case you were wondering, Jenette Goldstein has pretty much retired from acting and owns a chain of bra shops.

Based on what my dietician has informed me, it’s actually everything that tastes GOOD that’s bad for you.

Super disappointed that wasn’t a red ‘95 Dodge Ram.

When the ice maker leaks and it takes me a week to find the problem, how angry will you be?

Hey, messing with a country’s computers and IT infrastructure is serious stuff!  People could get hurt!  It’s not fun and games, joking around stuff, like dropping a couple silly bombs on hospitals.

The Russian government complaining about being targeted by cyberattacks. Rarely in history has a “go fuck yourself” been so richly warranted.

Sounds like something a giant spider planning to drop down from the sky this summer would say. 

You don’t know what will be said to turn Thanksgiving dinner into a nightmare, but you know exactly who is going to say it.