That kind of oversight is just... DUM DUM DUM DUM DUMMMM.

Wow, I didn’t expect him to leave Portland.

The trade is unsurprising. Frail, bad-hitting CF is a strength for this team. It only made sense to move one of them.

Patton Oswalt on Twitter has pointed out the weird pattern that seems to happen with a decent amount ( I wouldn’t say majority but a good amount) of right wing guys are failed comedians. There are more than just a handful of people who seem to be failed entertainers who somehow end up in politics. Huckabee for sure…

They punch down, and then get all “OH, so it’s okay when a [insert minority group here] says it?!” when people respond with exhausted sighs instead of belly-laughter.

That’s because the jokes aren’t inspired by the need to communicate and connect, like those of actual good comedians. They’re inspired by the need to troll their imagined enemies.

And my taint has definitely been peed on after a night of spirits.

It’s always interesting to watch conservatives attempt humor. The references are almost always hilariously out of date, the attempts at self-deprecation are usually painfully forced, and it comes across like they decided to improv the first take and then felt it was comedy gold that couldn’t be topped. It’s like…

You know what they say about PED testing: if you get caught, lie like the Dickens.

He may have something here.

It’s currently 36 degrees in Birmingham. Safe to say no one will be dipping into the teens tonight.

We’re at the point where it’s a relief this pedophile lost. But fuck, man. It’s really a relief this pedophile lost.

He who throws with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.

C’mon, you know guys don’t read. Get the TL;DR t-shirt!

“He gripped the baseball with his hand. You won’t believe what happened next.”

I do not throw a baseball with my hand; I throw a baseball with my heart.

According to a Houston player, the Astros often knew what Darvish was about to throw by the way he brought the ball into his glove in the set position.

I only know them because they summer on the Vineyard.

Two songs you might be thinking of? ‘Wrong Way’, which was a very popular single, about a 12 year old girl and is very creepy (loosely, the protagonist saves a 12 (0r 14) year old girl from a life of prostitution by... dating her himself?). And then there’s Mary, which was not a single that I am aware of, but is as if…

Are you telling me Ringo can’t breathe underwater? I mean he said he’d like to be in an Octopus’ Garden and I doubt he’d like to drown