Twenty-one, not twelve. A college student doesn’t know it’s cold in winter? Come on.

I HATE the idea that people are obligated to “look after” people who choose to get blotto drunk. I dropped drunken babysitting from my life years ago and I don’t regret it at all. Just lasy year a friend of mine got utterly wasted and fell down, breaking her leg. Then she says “well, if YOU were there maybe it…

Or refrain from getting so wasted that you forget it’s the middle of winter.

So true. Had a friend once who insisted on wearing his “beach bum” shorts everywhere, even in the dead of winter. “But I’m just going from the house to the car” and etc. Then one night we broke down miles from anywhere, no heat. Guess who began whining instantly?

Drunk, barely-dressed and stupid is no way to go through life, dear.

He doesn’t urinate or defecate either. He is in such perfect physical condition that his highly-evolved body uses literally every single molecule of sustenance he consumes. What little bodily waste he produces is excreted as microscopic beads of sweat that appear on his upper lip, sweat that smells like brand new…