“It goes to eleven!”

“Look, Coach O’Brien, we know you coached football 10,000 hours last year, but you also changed the toilet paper roll once, so now you make $7.50 an hour, OK?”

Oooh wah wah, poor millionaire Noah Syndergaard has to spend a day in lousy Syracuse. Whatever, at least he still gets to play in the big leagues with... 

The thing is, you can regain your swagger playing Chinese basketball, but you lose all your confidence again an hour later.

I just hope he doesn’t go overboard trying to back up all his Mr. Big Chest talk.

I only play football when I've been drinking. 

I went to the same high school as his son and he and my parents are friends... spent some time with him, extremely upstanding guy with nothing but integrity and class. Also took my late grandmother on a “date” to the St. Louis Symphony. 

He does consider his cameo in “Pootie Tang” to be one of his worst decisions...…

“Well, that’s what’s carved in the rock.”

I prefer “Trucker’s Choice Stay Alert Capsules”

While both defenses did well and it was a “good” defensive battle there were several elements that made it dull to views.

“They didn’t believe in you! No one thought you would do it and you proved ALL the haters wrong. He’s too big. He’s too old. His time is up and he’ll never reach as high as he did earlier in his career. And yet, here you are, once again, lighting up the sky. Congrats, big man.”
-Tom Brady, every morning to the sun

“Jon Bon Jovi is happy, which is too bad because his band is fucking awful.”

Wow, I look at this and ask, what was the point? Why not scan over to the other side to see the “Mmm” look on that face, or the stare from another? So someone didn’t have a reaction at that exact moment? Again, Wow. This was enough to make a whole page? Really?

The question we are all asking ourselves right now, “Would this be a catch in the NFL?”

As far as Calvins on Sunday, he is only second to Hobbes for bringing a paper tiger to life.