I grew up in a town along the Ohio River. I went to college in a university that's part of the Ohio Valley Conference. I live within east driving distance of the Ohio River today. I have never, ever, ever heard of Ohio Valley pizza. I officially call shenanigans.

The three-way is pasta with chili (and cheese) on it. The chili itself is a runny concoction of hamburger in dishwater. (And I'm a fan, but I prefer Gold Star to Skyline.)

Only if you're not anyone else in the theater, thinking "What kind of person would bring a sleeping child to an action movie?"

I've seen the future, and, um…it doesn't get better.

I mean, Tony Awards =/= Oscars, but Avenue Q did actually win Best Musical with pretty much the trendy/goofy/"eh, why not vote for us?" strategy.

Rough, but at least the review was written with an open mind.

Aerosmith, "Eat The Rich"

Moody Blues
Lesley Gore

This just in: Twilight movies bad; more breaking news at eleven.

#18: Don't be a blinder-wearing jackass.

The real spoiler is Andy Garcia.

Yeah, but (**Hot Take alert**) Book of Mormon isn't that good. If you've heard the soundtrack, you've heard the best parts—the book is pretty weak. (It's basically "Ooh, look how naughty we are! We're saying CURSE WORDS! Ha ha, 'fuck'! Tee hee, we're so subversive!") It felt like the worst tendencies of South Park,…

I'm going to miss reading the comments, here most of all. Goodbye for a while, everyone.

I swore I was going to let it go for a week, but Jesus Christ. Move on. Block me, delete me, whatever, I feel the need to say something. I voted the same way apparently everyone who reads this site does. But you know what? It's over. One candidate won, one candidate lost, because that's what happens in elections.…

No, McDonald's certainly isn't Five Guys; McDonald's sells burgers that taste good.

Or, and I know this is a stretch, but hear me out, maybe, maybe it was just one specific trait of this one particular person, and not everyone with a disorder is a murderer.

My vote for first cancellation is Conviction, on Wednesday.

"…and Tiny Tim, who did not get his legs ripped off…"

When millennials can't fart, they don't fart.

Hey, you're all right.