Have you thought about the tax write off if you live in the RV but also use it as your mobile meth lab?

And the three ones I admire most

I hear you. 

Brick, where'd you get a hand grenade?

It’s absolutely the book you bring to the hospital or jail or your grandparents’ deathbed. “Well, this is long and I’m not sure when I’m getting out, so let’s read about Russian politics and oh that’s what’s troika is...”

No. One Hundred Years of Solitude is multiple hundred pages of shit that got pushed into the place between the college mattress and the wall. My cat had more interaction with that book than I did.

Kinja is resurrecting very old comments.

We don’t even need to shout. Poster boards could say, “This is not a health clinic. Ask me where to go for health care.”

Oh, you already noticed! Sorry for my correction, then.

I think you mean “provider,” but you wrote/autocorrected to “profiteer.” :D

From your article:

Thank you! <3

My problem isn't so much getting pregnant as staying pregnant. Two miscarriages in 2018, so send all the good vibes for 2019!

I bought pregnancy tests (we weren’t trying, but I wanted to make sure) and a bottle of wine. I didn’t want the cashier to judge me, so I also bought a wine gift bag.

Trump thanking Apple for “agreeing” to expand in the US is just him once again  trying to take credit for something he had nothing to do with. 

I'll just leave this here.

“We don’t allow people to sit on the floor because they might get trampled in a fire or other emergency. Let’s see if someone will give up their seat.”

I didn’t think I’d start my week watching a video of a cop literally shaking a baby, but that’s how this one began.

“Your honor, against my advice, and truly all logic or reason considering the nature of the suit, my client has opted to accept payment in Rolling Stone subscriptions provided they are transferable to third party beneficiaries of his or his proxy’s choice and can be transferred until the value is met. He believes this…

He has the best words. His words are tremendous, bigly, covfefe, MAGA, America, boarder security, and NO COLLUSION.