Eh, as a Christian-adjacent person (raised with it, non-religious, part of my scholarly underpinnings), Jesus has always at least a bit of a sexual element. He may or may not be a virgin, but nuns are his brides and a lot of art portrays a religious ecstasy that’s pretty orgasmic. His body is at the core of the…

All of those sound like entirely plausible Jezebel post titles, and I ain’t mad.

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you are incorrect sir. Given that we love potatoes, but do not have potatoes of ample size to make the fries we love. It is clearly time for the Rise of the Tot!

Red Robin might be in trouble...

Counterpoint: Fries are awesome and should never, ever be replaced. 

From:

I’ll take tater tots if French fry sized potatoes aren’t available.

I find potato salad goes well with a burger without making me feel awful like eating fries does.

If Canada can have a strategic maple syrup reserve (they do, I promise it’s a real thing, Google it) I think we need to have a strategic potato reserve for these situations.

Just have Five-Guys reduce the portion size by 1% and this’ll be solved.

We keep hearing about these various shortages, but they never seem to manifest themselves into our daily lives.  I mean, I thought bananas were supposed to be extinct by now.

Apparently tots will still be fine, most of the damage was relegated to the longer necessary for french fries.

And with Trump’s planned tariffs on all things French, this is about to get worse.

Will “we” now be sending the Marines to “guard” Canadian potato fields?

STOP TRYING TO TRICK ME WITH VEGETABLES!

Right? His doofy demeanor and complete lack of seriousness was all I needed to be convinced he’s guilty AF. 

Diana did some wonderful things.

She also clearly exhibited every possible sign of borderline personality disorder...no relationship was ever going to be easy for OR with her.

She was 19 when she got engaged and then rapidly married to someone who was 13 years older, barely 21 and married less than a year when Will was…

The Queen is never going to die. 

I don’t understand “Come out on top”? Charles was always first in line for the throne and the second most prominent royal after the Queen, and Charles’s sons and grandsons are all ahead of Andrew in line for the throne.

Besides, Diana never expected fidelity. She just didn't want it to be Camilla in the picture. She was cool with some of the other mistresses.