Schilling prefers to stop at 3 Ks.

Scherzer is the term for when one testicle is a different color than the other.

Rocket, Wood, Unit, and now Scherzer.

ESPN says CSA vs. CRB in Brazilian BFE leaves fan FUBAR with possible TBI.

Exactly. I got into this argument with a hundred different people when we were talking about DeAndre Jordan and hack-a-shaq. I think many of the same people have some kind of disconnect where it’s okay to do this to Harper and he’s just got to take it, but it’s not okay to do this in basketball because it’s “boring”…

Let’s go ahead and talk about the elephant in the room.

How is this shocking after last season? No one wants a choker to be their closer.

Couldn't happen to a better guy.

SOMEONE PLEASE RESCUE KATIE NOLAN

Next game, they’ll probably end up throwing Life Alert bracelets on the ice.

You’ve got a nice, crisp Tubman coming your way some day.

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Travelpro Maxlite3 Expandable Spinner

Sunny with a chance of bracelets?

I had tears in my eyes watching Lauren Hart milk the last note of “God Bless America” and then turn to show the Snider on the back of the jersey.

Meh. Manny Ramirez was famous for his upper deckers.

I liked baseball better when the game was played by specialists, not a bunch of showboat do-it-all “athletes.” Someone once showed Goose Gossage a photograph of a basketball and he loosed his bowels and fell into a coma for three months.

Well, of course they fucked up covering the violations. The school isn’t called Southern Hit.

Well, we now know that he prefers to stand and swipe after attempting to drop a Brown.