dean mcDermott, dermot mulroney, and dylan mcDermott all need to change their fucking names so america stops being scared and confused

I don’t think I drank enough coffee, because I immediately pictured a baby Olivia Pope at the White House.

I think he secretly wanted to get arrested, otherwise he wouldn’t have been sitting like that.

Sorry dude, maybe if you didn’t want to get caught you should have kept your legs shut.

This, on national cat day? Come on, what the fuck man.

I didn’t realize the policy was only 30 years old. That means there are tons of single men that are my age. *books flight to China*

I’m sick and tired of your small-minded stereotypes ofsoutherners, Pinkham. What part of barbecue country makes you think the love between man and smoked-pork products would be frowned upon?

And after dinner, she said, ‘Do you want to see the mall?’ And Gaga and I were out of that chair so fast … We went down to the mall and spent an hour down there. She pulled out her collection of gowns from Funny Girland Hello, Dolly! And then she said, ‘Do you want frozen yogurt?’

Of Rilo Kiley and the Postal Service. But, most importantly, also of Troop Beverly Hills.

I am going to make my child sit in the fire place and then start a fire.

i ordered 14 of these chairs for the jez office

Little kids who act like shits

Never! My friends call me Kiki D or Kiks, such is the blessing of a traditional, very popular Irish name. Unfortunately I’m tone deaf but that doesn’t stop me from thinking I’m that Kiki at karaoke. I also like to think that I’m Kirtsen Cohen from the OC too when Julie Cooper calls her Kiki. Too many great Kiki’s to…

It’s her. She just looks really different if she ever shows even a sliver of forehead.

I just hope no one badgers the little honey about her about the name.

Unpopular opinion: I think Elsie Otter is actually kind of cute. I mean, I wouldn’t name my kid after an animal but it sort of works in this case. I’m just glad she didn't name her kid after a fruit or color.

Because a dude’s need to get his dick wet is so much more important than someone’s life.

I have a hard time deciding who I love more on Brooklyn 99, Terry or Gina.

Dude I am so sorry that being the singer of switch foot didn’t work out for you but calm down.

Nah, gender inequality is wrong regardless of how much wealth is involved.