A woman RAN up to me at a music festival a few weekends ago, whipped off her sunglasses and asked “Were you sitting next to me on a flight from Phoenix to New York a few days ago?” Dumbfounded I told her it wasn’t me and she kept swearing that it was. I told her I hadn’t been to Phoenix in over a decade and she said…

Bang him.

Really? So they routinely scrutinize **all* scripts written for off-label use, in the name of patient safety?

Little boxes on the hillside

I realize that many folks think “McMansion” means “big house that I think is ugly,” but the term more correctly refers to being mass-produced using techniques designed to imitate fine craftsmanship. While the Giudice mansion may be crass and probably is shoddily built, nothing that big is a standardized product, not…

I won’t apologize for wanting to bang ludacris.

Man, those DC fanboys will just not let that Green Lantern movie go...

Read the title scrolled down to the comments to make sure everyone was freaking out about Deadpool nods head threaten the paparazzi with bodily harm if they mess up this movie’s filming... Seriously I want so many good things for this movie leave Ryan alone!!

I swear, if anyone screws up the Deadpool movie for me before it’s released I’ll...

I’d just like to point out that “clay” and “dirt” are essentially the same thing and that people are neither of those things. Man, his grasp of science is shit.

She’s right, though. I sprung fully-grown from my father’s forehead at about age 25. #Athena

My new husband and I stayed in a cute little cabin on the Olympic Peninsula and cooked for ourselves the whole week while exploring the rain forest and local beaches. The very last night, we decided to splurge on a nice dinner out. We got all dolled up and had a drink or two and had a lovely evening. Driving along the…

I don't really get why people are getting all pissy about Tidal. Honestly, artists should get a bigger piece of the pie for the stuff they create. If you don't want to support JayZ's fortune then don't buy, stream, or listen to his stuff. But don't go calling people uppity for wanting a fair share of something…

Alright, I’ve never posted anything on Jez but I can’t resist this one-

A girl did this in my high school. She made me feel bad because i sad something like “what, do you have cancer or something?” sarcastically when she was acting all glum. I told her then she was an asshole for trying to make me feel guilty for something i could not have possibly known about and everyone thought I was a…

my gfs wedding. i was a bridesmaid. we stood out on the vineyard grounds to take pictures as we prepared to walk down the aisle and the owner of the vineyard popped his head out of the office to comment on how lovely we all looked. his two gorgeous Weimanaers bounded out after him. we are all dog people, dogs were…

I honestly can't wait for an entire post of Brides Flambe.

You like me! You really like me! Nearly five years after the shart heard 'round the world, I am so glad my fellow Jezebel guys & gals can laugh at my misfortune. If I knew then that one day the internet will be laughing along with me, I would have been really chill about it. Thanks y'all!

Frank, obvs. She went to prison for him!