He’s one of history’s most accomplished seamen.

I have been screaming about this for years: Harry and Ron grow up to be Aurors, wizard cops. That’s the show. A Law and Order/Gotham type police procedural show set in the wizarding world starring Radcliffe and Grint. They will PRINT MONEY.

Two things I will say in Cameron’s defense. He makes hit movies, and he’s probably had sex with at least one ocean.

By that logic Zack Snyder is the greatest filmmaker to have ever been born.

I believe it was one of the AV Club reviews that summed up the fundamental problem with this whole series ... “Tris has the amazing and dangerous quality of being good at more than one thing”.

Maisie Williams thinks they’re queer.

Maybe he wouldn’t have been so bored if he actually did any acting in Divergent.

Can our heroes defeat the withered crone who dwells in the immemorial city beyond the Shattered Sea?

Diplodocus, obviously.

Coming this Christmas:
The Feet of Zorro
“Who knew Zorro was so comfortable with the n-word?”

I bet you The Pompatus of Love has something to do with it!

I assume the Joker

Workin’ hard, maxin’, not relaxin’ or cool
Hung out with a dozen Yoders outside of the school
When a coupla Mennonites who were brazen and young
Started making fun of my Ordnung
I started to turn my cheek but my mood went south
I said “Keep my old ways out your fucking mouth”

I wound up for a slap, but as it came near
The…

Really, in terms of generational trauma, he slapped all of us. He slapped mankind.

In Lancaster Pennsylvania, born ‘n raised,
In the wheat field is where I spent most of my days!

Will’s just never been the same since his Rumspringa. 

since we’re playing editor and pointing out inaccuracies:

Not a Pixar film.

Are they going to cut to Alan Rickman’s tombstone for a few seconds every time it would have been his turn to talk?

In theaters Nov 23, on Netflix Dec 23. Since it’s absolutely impossible for AV Club to include this shit anymore.