Notting Hill rules.

I like knowing who the Piece of Shit of the Day award goes to before 9am; thanks Jez!

That movie was so bad I didn’t even want to spank it to Sandra Bullock.

Gravity was bad and you should should feel bad.

I think even “those” Christians think dinosaurs are real. They just think they lived 6,000 years ago.

Did you see Sam Bee’s piece on how poor women have trouble affording diapers for their kids? And how Republicans think these women shouldn’t be able to pay for diapers with food stamps? And if you can’t afford to buy diapers, you probably should have thought about that before you went and got yourself pregnant, slut?

ok but like did you watch Country Strong where he sings and is a cowboy? yes plzz.

Last week one of the girls from Teen Mom made headlines when she had her hair styled into dreadlocks. As soon as there was an outcry that this was cultural appropriation the masses of the internet came out to say there’s no such thing as cultural appropriation/ she was just admiring black culture/ PC culture has…

What’s it worth now?

unf

They are excoriating him for it because he demonstrated that he lacked basic knowledge on a topic he talks about constantly. He isn’t wrong about how the system is fucked, but it is a problem that he has zero interest in figuring out how to fix it beyond giving speeches. I like the guy, but this is a serious flaw of…

I had hookworms as a kid. Tiny, white, wiggly worms that live in your butthole. I saw one sticking out of my poop one day and told my mom, who thought I was just being paranoid and told me to ignore it. Flash forward a few weeks later and it feels like my ass is full of broken glass. I go to take a dump, thinking it…

Finally I get to share my story publicly in a setting where people WANT to hear it!!! In December 2014, I started having really massive stomach cramps. I thought perhaps I had eaten something bad, or was PMSing, but these cramps were constant. I couldn’t sleep, I stopped being able to eat. I couldn’t stand up…

I’m confused.

I had open-heart surgery as a toddler, 40 years ago. The scar is very prominent and I make no attempts to cover it. I’ve had it all my life so it’s not a traumatic thing for me, and I still will make up stuff like this sometimes because it’s not random person on the street’s business.

WANT. If I ever win the lottery, the first thing I’m doing is running right out and getting myself an obnoxious door-knocker of a ring. And then I’m gonna rig up some kind of light I can wear on my wrist to make it sparkle and have my own portable disco ball.

You know, one day I’ll be mature enough not to giggle for thirty seconds about the couple fighting over their Dog’s sperm being named the Wangsnesses.

I have an exclusive pic of the wedding:

Are you sure their faces weren’t just too fat to wear drawstring hoodies? Some faces just don’t work with Lululemon’s drawstring hoodies. — Chip Wilson