This is like the only post ever where this would be an appropriate comment.

If my boobs could magically hover off my chest like that, I'd never wear a bra.

When I was about 15 years old everyone in my group of girl friends had touched a penis but me, which made me feel like quite the loser. So during a family vacay to NYC I decided to come up with an elaborate story about how I had given a guy named Jon a hand job in my hotel room as my parents slept nearby. The story…

A grad school acquaintance (let's call him "Justin") had a thing for one of the ladies in my study group (let's call her "Sarah"). During the fall of the last year of grad school, Justin told Sarah (who then told all of us) that he had a brain tumor and was dying. He had spent all of our fall break in a…

This was actually a lie that I told. When I was four, my aunt got a divorce. My family and I visited Minnesota to visit her, and she took us for a ride in her new speed boat. It was the best thing that had ever happened to my landlocked, Iowan self.

Not all poo.

Dear Little La.,

Atticus selfie.

If cats were the insane clown posse, boxes would be there magnets.

You stay with your pet when he or she is being euthanized. I don't care that it is "too hard" for you. You suck it up, hold your pet, give kisses, and stay until the very end. Then you go to the beach and scream for as long as it takes. You do not leave your pet behind to be euthanized alone. Period. (Also, this vet…

I've always pictured Steam like this.

I'm admiring his flexibility; I can barely rest my feet on my knees, but getting toes and mouth in close proximity? Not happening.

Brady Kissel is a hero. That's all we need to say.

Okay, I'm gonna be that guy. The dog is adorable but that's not guilt you're seeing. She's reacting to her owner's agitated state and is trying to show submission. Dogs don't feel shame and to say they do is anthropomorphizing. (I hope I spelled that right.) Adorable puppy tho.

Have people forgotten that driving is basically aiming a ton or two of metal down a hard surface at high speeds?