Girl, I have a creepy dream/wish/fantasy (take your pick) that someday we meet in real life and become BEST FRIENDS, because you're my spirit animal.

Plus, life is hard for EVERYONE. I never had a redhaired barbie despite being a redheaded kid, so I've totally been discriminated against. UGHHHHHHHH life is so hard as a middle class white person. (Sidenote: my husband and I reenact this scene whenever he asks me to do the dishes/I ask him to take the garbage…

Beat me to it. Art depicting naked men in battle was about glorifying the human form, not realism. /end pedantic historian moment.

Ha! I originally was going to say "I feel like if Barack and Michelle were the same sex but straight, they'd be best friends" but then I thought "That's a weird fucking thing to say, Parkerandwoolf. It's basically fanfic."

I think what I love most about them is that they are clearly BEST FRIENDS. And not just in the way every married person says their spouse is their best friend, but in the way that if for some reason they never got married, they'd still be best friends.

Nothing bonds people faster than a mutual hatred of something/someone. I teach college students, and the classes that bond the most are always the classes with an insufferable asshole know-it-all. It's like that one person makes everyone else like each other so much more.

Exactly. If someone says "Parkerandwoolf is embezzling and I'm going to tell the boss," then yes, tell me. (Note: I am not, nor am I planning to be, an embezzler.) But if someone tells you, "Parkerandwoolf is such a bitch," just keep it to yourself. 1) Because damn straight and I already know it and 2) Because…

I don't mind gossip at all, but I *do* mind those people who feel it is their duty to tell you what someone else said about you. Look, unless they're saying something that could seriously damage me professionally, like that I've got a meat locker full of bodies, I really don't want to hear about it. All it does is…

I think my favorite part of the Robsten's wedding story is the idea that her ideal ring is the one from Twilight. Because there's no chance at all she kept it to have a keepsake/laugh hysterically at how it looks more like a Claire's cocktail ring than an actual engagement ring.

Elections are From Mars, God is from Heaven.

Act like a Crybaby, Think Like A God.

Glenn Beck sounds like your college friend trying to convince herself that the reason that frat guy hasn't called since they hooked up is because he's just *so scared* of his feelings for her.

To make a long story short, my grandma was adopted by her relative and I grew up thinking *that* relative was my great grandma and the adoption was never talked about. My grandma died when I was six, and then when I was eleven we were visiting distant relatives WHO HAD A PICTURE OF MY GRANDMA CLEARLY TAKEN AT THAT…

Oooh....that's good. That's way better than my cheerful "It's a last name, that's what kind!" I like your mom.

No, but some times it makes you feel a little bit better. Plus, it's pretty easy to tell who is being obnoxious and who is just genuinely curious, if misguided. The way I rationalize it is if I can make one person realize it's a rude fucking question, well, mission accomplished.

The problem with your "less resistant" response is that it isn't the *same* people asking her over and over again, so being "nice" about it isn't going to suddenly make people stop asking. As a white woman, 10 years ago I would have agreed with you, but then I married my husband and took his decidedly-not-white last…

I think I went to high school with Girl from a Party. "Can I just use the n-word real quick?" ...I wish that part was over the top satire, but I can tell you from experience, it's not. What's missing from that sketch is when Seth says "no, you can't" is the usual response, "Oh, it's fine. There's none of them here…

I think it depends on your face— I adore the milkmaid braids, but as a late-twenties woman with serious babyface (I still get carded when buying tickets to R rated movies) I can't pull them off. A friend of mine who doesn't resemble a preteen can pull them off beautifully without looking like a little kid, though. …

While we were dating, my husband did not know of the existence of fake bar names. I'll never forget the look on his face when a strange guy at a bar* asked my name and I responded with my middle name without even blinking. My first name is super unusual and hence I'm easy to find, but my middle name? Totally…

Yeah, I think you have to read it between the ages of 13-17 in order to like it. I luuuuurved it (read it at 13) and reread it recently (I'm 27). DOES NOT HOLD UP.