Deadspin’s editorial positions here are that a guy going to prison for four years over this is ridiculous and that the Cardinals should be banned from baseball forever and tossed into space.

If the Earth were round, Giancarlo Stanton’s dingers would go straight into outer space. Think about it, you guys.

He treats objects like women, man.

Yeah, it’s an Isaac Brock kind of night.

Howard Ends, Ranked

It’s depressing to watch, especially since Howard and Carlos Ruiz are all that remain of the 2008 champs. There are only so many times you can watch him swing and miss on a low-and-away slider for strike three without thinking, “That’ll do, Ryan, that’ll do.”

I clicked into this article just to find out who Shailene Woodley is. Funny enough, I watched the first two of those Divergent movies. Still didn’t remember who she was.

They’re not saying “Booo” they’re saying “Your failures are now microcosms of our own miserable existences; come join us in our self-loathing, slow march to our TOOOOOOMBS!”

I tried and failed. No idea what's going on here.

Which is a more terrifying sign of our coming dystopian future: President Trump? Or Phil Kessel Stanley Cup Champion?

He’s only playing so long to pay off his massive student loan debt. Four full years of tuition at Wake Forest. Yeesh.

That wasn’t the NFL, that was Curt Schilling’s FB page.

Hey hey hey! It's Matt Albers!

I wonder how many Stalin bases he has this year?

That’s right Clayton! Show him the heater!
-Jamie Moyer.

Panda: Eats, Leaves

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