Ballers has titties, Any Given Wednesday only has boobs

Line drives aren’t that hard it’s the hard one hopper that scare me.

Sure they’re mistaken, but they’re also so MAJESTICALLY mistaken that I’m inspired to go be really, really wrong about something. TODAY IS THE DAY.

Ummmm...

Drew, you’re more optimistic than I am. I don’t think the NFL’s problem is Goodell, the problem is the owners. If there were magically a new commish tomorrow, I wager he would behave roughly the same way, because that’s what the owners want. And the commish only exists in the NFL to further the explicit wishes of the…

You might have to rename the Haughty Dipshit section after this Errol Ladouche. What a sentient colostomy bag.

Firing Roger Goodell and replacing him with another underqualified, gormless meat puppet is like Jeff Dunham ‘firing’ Peanut in favor of the grumpy old dude or the jalapeno on a stick.

I understand when guys get tackled and it breaks up the play so they stay down for a minute or whatever, but there are so many times where if the guy just got up and kept running he would have a clear chance. This woman just proved how valuable that can be and makes it that much more irritating when the men fail to do…

*sees headline*

an overwhelming number of the male players likely wouldnt have even scored that goal, as they’d be screaming bloody murder and writhing in pain over that tackle.

hard hitting soccer journalism

Can we add me winning my square during the first quarter of the Super Bowl?

I’m happy for the cubs. I really am. I am also happy that Cleveland did not get two championships in one year. Cleveland fans would have become insufferable if they did

My grandfather died without ever having seen the cubs win the world series. So, my Dad, ever the crazy asshole he is, brought a radio out on the porch so gramps could listen in from heaven. We all thought he was going out there to jack off, but nope he was going out there to be with his Dad, which I thought was sweet.…

Now hold on one damn minute, our beer selection doesn’t suck. I can live with other criticisms. But that’s crossing the line.

I’m gonna treasure this moment of enjoying this mostly likable organization for now, because I know for the next ten years, I’ll be cursing this franchise into oblivion while drunkenly yelling at all of the pink hat-wearing Cubs “fans” that walk through the turnstiles of a Mariners-A’s game.

Open letter to Goodell

But of course the prettiest goal was the one goal from Barcelona and not any of the three that Man City scored! They were so lucky to beat Barcelona.

Employed people over 30 often live in nice cities where an $80 hotel room will be a rathole 10 miles away and anything remotely close by is over $200. So, yeah, they’re welcome on my couch rather than having to add $400+ to the cost of their weekend visit that could instead be spent on lots of good food and alcohol.

You didn’t need to say you played Ultimate everyone can tell you used to play Ultimate because you capitalized it and also called it Ultimate instead of Adult Frisbee.