forget the shark, that bathing suit crotch *protectively cups vagine*

How can someone be so thirsty with so much water around?

I think we all know that the “Trump Presidential Library” is just going to be a giant, flat-screen computer monitor scrolling tweets.

Don’t worry. They are in Jackson with all the other celebrities. You won’t be able to tell the difference.

Well when they say “Wyoming” we know they really just mean Jackson. He’s not hanging out in Riverton or fucking Gillette.

This has to be the smallest tip of the largest iceberg I’ve ever seen in my life.

Ha, yes! 8 million years ago, when I was in h.s., my friend’s mom brought me back a pair of edible undies from vacation (as a joke!). They were exactly fruit roll-ups. I know this because one day I got really hungry and ate them while I was driving somewhere.

All the bottles are still white, tho.

Yes, the inside surface feels a lot like fabric, unless you’re specifically looking for latex that isn’t lined. I’m not sure what the lining is exactly, but it isn’t any more difficult to manage or any more uncomfortable than any other tight-fitting outfit with limited stretch. It’s actually pretty comfy, aside from…

Latex always reminds me of fruit roll-up and now I’m really craving a fruit roll-up. That dress looks delicious.

Boob sweat. So much of it.

There is a level of self confidence required to wear something like this. I both respect and admire it.

Little do you know of the bitter feud between the Daleys and Lance-Blacks.

Nothing says “years of wedded bliss” like referencing a story that ends with “and then they both died.”

Friendly English Lit reminder: the point of this quote is not that Juliet is wondering where Romeo is. Rather, the “wherefore art thou” is meant as “WHY are you Romeo Montague,” as in, “I really wish you were from literally any other family.”

yup.

Delightfully dumb! Nobody said *bad* movies. Just *dumb* movies.

This is the correct answer:

We’re all old to these whippersnappers. I just remember Diana’s death like it was yesterday, for some reason. It was so...vivid.

1997. I’m not that old. I can’t be that old.