Buc’s Premium tix sales team lead, angrily: Oil spills are happening! Red Tide! the sea is killing tourism! You Shitbirds think that is an excuse? THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY! Now we got, what, 140,000 dumbfucks just lolling around on LAND! Hey Bud! whatcha up to? Aw that’s too bad you can’t go out and fish for oil on this…

I was a print reader, and think I even got the SIKids when I was a kid in the early 90's. I thought it was really cool that one time a kid from my OH high school was selected for football. That said, nothing SI has done, in my memory, would come close to warranting this question:

I like that the Netflix/Amazon ‘Are you still watching?’ prompt flies directly against your business model of streaming to the recently deceased.

If there has ever been a post more worthy of the tag ‘Deadspin Idiots’, I might go live with the aliens.

Rooney: Aint that fookin grand, mate. Fookin look! lorries and cunts weavin about te walk, pitchin inta me. Aint no fookin misjudgement on me, ee tried te take me hed fooking off! I turn, an ee’s right on top me bits!

People coming back from wheelchair curses a la Drake are the best stories. Like this one! That was a great ending! Go Raps!

LSD is a hell of a drug.

If I could do a dancing banana I would have.

I don’t speak fukcing russian. Im just from Brighton.

LolNietz lives on!

Ah that wonderful misunderstanding of Log(OFF) function. Takes me back the days of C++ (AP Level) of course, where we were discussing the structure of the library reference functions we could call to and Barnaby was like, It’s a wide world of librarys out there is this this best one? and I was like fuck you Binarby.

So...Raptors in 6?

That neck tho. Ichabod Crane no doubt.

You are not the center of the universe. I know we all hate DFW for being creepy, but his speech from Kenyon is a good, readable way to center yourself in a world of screaming into the void. Also, you are not alone in feeling this way!

100% pure killer instincts. Get some help! None of those children are out to get you! Except this one, which you are correct about. The eyes never lie.

It’s not called 7 laps in heaven for nothing. The bell is a new wrinkle though.

Someday you will even be a fan of the (stat)books!

Ya onis on me cespiendes.

Wait really? Wow. Real Aesop here ladies.

Its Sprouts. This is earther.