If you watch the British version of Kitchen Nightmares, it’s starkly different. Ramsay’s still sarcastic and has a biting sense of humor but he’s also often kind, enthusiastic about food and seems to genuinely care whether the restaurants live or die.

And technically, bullshit is stool.

I’ve read this story three times and I still can’t figure out what the fuck is going on. I’m just going to assume that all three of these people are probably assholes.

Same. I’m weak and sad for myself.

Shhh... You just stole the new Murphy Brown pilot where she now works for Breitbart.

Please stop making me imagine him naked.

DJT, rocking a traditionally feminine polo.

The beard & glasses remind me of that Joaquin Phoenix nonsense awhile back, buut... I don’t think that’s what’s going on here.

Authorities already said Uber is not at fault. Now we know LIDAR is not at fault either. Driver was bored staring at gadgets on dashboard and played solitaire instead - also not at fault. No way Volvo is at fault. Bicycle and victim are not at fault.

Well I was an archeology major and I worked on preserved bog bodies, I’m no paper expert, but if the bottle was deposited in the sand and kept fairly dry for most of the time, the cork or plug lasted a long time but eventually disintegrated. We have no idea how long the plug lasted but in the right conditions it might…

You leave burgundy and green alone! Jewel tones are the only colors that look good on me and I’m sick of everything being dusty pink or beige or cream. Makes me look like a washed out potato.

I can see why they see him as a religious person. I mean, every time I see him on TV, I go, “Oh, god...”

I, for one, absolutely do not endorse cutting off noses to spider face.

Whenever I see a headline about this dude I always think of that story about how when he’s whining, his wife just yells at him, “nobody feels sorry for Alec Baldwin”. I feel like she must have to say that a lot.

The NYPD’s accuracy rate when returning fire is 18%.

Funny how his ‘I can’t hear yous’ and ‘I’m not getting anythings’ happen during the interviewer’s pauses.

I must’ve missed that part of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.

I’ll be the one to say it, baby feet are already weird and those toes are so damn long.

posters of, say, a crocodile wearing a leather jacket and goggles, riding a motorcycle and vomiting the name Belle & Sebastian.

Uh, I was pretty thoroughly steeped in Catholicism as a child and teenager and hadn’t heard of this shit. What a circus!