Split the difference, adopt the Penix as a mascot:

I’m really tired of turning on the TV or reading a headline and thinking “Oh what the fuck now???”

as a person who was in a fraternity at one of the schools mentioned in the article, i can say 100% that the one i was in was not like that. one of my pledge brothers actually didn’t drink. the worst thing we ever had to do was clean the house (which the active brothers were responsible for also).

He’s white like yogurt and his last name’s Cheban. I will call him Chebani.

Papa Murphy’s may sound less Italian, but it’s 100x better. Round Table is awesome.

SO YOU’RE SAYING I HAVE A CHANCE NOW

Back to blonde...

He mostly looks like his mom (lucky bastard).

I hate that I find her attractive. Stupid penis.

I hope that’s a waterbed because Lea Michele seems excessively thirsty.

My dad worked as a timber faller on wildfires for years, and I was his swamper (person who supports the faller carrying their fuel/water/etc.) for two summers when I was 16 and 17. In my anecdotal experience, the con crews were far more pleasant to work with than the professional fire fighters and were—to a man (I…

So if I’m at an event and Pence is there, all I have to do to get him to leave is to kneel? Shouldn’t this be on Lifehacker?

I have my own body image issues and wish my nose was smaller, etc. Is it weird that my reaction after reading this was to try to love myself more?

When they get to those remote places and find dozens (if not hundreds) of dead Americans, expect the revised death toll to be labeled “fake news”.

AMY GOODMAN: So, that’s President Trump. Instead of “Heck of a job, Brownie,” it’s “Heck of a job, myself.”

Get out of here with that adult thinking!

Small 6-Year-Old Child: Can I have Cat in the Hat?

I’m the opposite. Not only did I not recognize anyone from their adolescent pics, I barely recognized anybody’s name as a celebrity. Apparently I’m getting too old for this.

Came for this, was severely disappointed.

Nicole. Reese would come out all scrappy and solid, but Nicole would hang back and just let Reese tire herself out before she just walloped her. Nicole is all about the long game, and she knows she can win.