You forgot the best part of the story: Internet commenter safe in a dry home shits all over couple who just lost everything and almost died, feels better about self for some reason.

Best/only sub 5k sleeper I could find on ebay:

“I killed a CarMax employee and they STILL honored my warranty.”

Big summer blowout you say?

As a parent of a toddler with a healthy appetite, “spectacular blowout” has a somewhat different meaning to me.

HI BILLY MAYS HERE FOR PAINTLESS DENT REPAIR IN A CAN!