My friend had a potluck wedding, but still expected a wedding gift (envelope with money for kitchen remodeling). I brought a couple pieces of pie and en envelope with 20 euros. I considered putting it in a card that said “go fuck yourself” but didn’t have the balls.

Oh wow. Where I live there are no private schools; it's a completely different system that has its flaws, but at least it's pretty much the same for everyone. No Mandarin though.

My God. I would expect my child to at least speak Mandarin, fluent French and perform magic at the end of the first year.

Oh. Oh. Ohhhh.

I love George so much and I hate it that he has been sick the past couple years. Last thing I heard he was in a super expensive hospital in Switzerland trying to kick his alcoholism :-(

Didn’t one of them name her daughter Penelope?

Oh, i do love her first (only?) album, quelqu’un m’a dit. Trump?! I do think she dated Mick Jagger.

A curious thing to say for someone who usually dates married men, non? If I remember correctly the wife of the father of her son wrote a book about how Bruni ruined her life. She nicknamed her “The Terminator”.

VIGGO!

God, I love David Suchet SO MUCH. Can’t they just do this with him?

Sorry, I tried to copy paste a picture but kinja wouldn’t let me. I was wondering if your housecleaner looked like this:

?

I have a total Churchill baby. He has three chins and could frown disapprovingly before he learned to laugh. All he’s missing is a cigar and a posh British accent.

I would love to have an elective section the next time. But in my country that isn't allowed; it's been only a few years since they grudgingly started allowing women to have pain medication. My doctor told me last week that I would have no problem having my next baby vaginally, and was surprised when i wasn't super…

That was one of my biggest fears, tearing up and never being able to pee/poop like a normal person again. People were all, “Oh, what a shame you ended up with a c-section after all” but I was so fucking happy. My vagina doesn’t resemble what someone once dubbed “an exploded hamster” and I think the scar looks pretty…

Ha! I had “the boot” exactly 2 months ago. Two doctors were pulling on my son, and I heard one of them mumble: “he’s REALLY stuck, isn’t he?” Did make me feel better about not being able to push him out of my vagina, despite pushing for the two previous hours. I wanted to kiss that Doctor when she proposed the c…

I grew up in the Netherlands. Not that my country is perfect in any way and lord knows I HATED high school with a bloody vengeance, but no school here, Christian or not, would DREAM of telling students what to wear to a school party. It’s been 17 years since I went to my “prom” (it’s not such a big deal here, mine was…

I'm sorry, I'm just here for that gorgeous Chanel jacket

That’s so cool! My dad has Parkinson’s. He sometimes has fainting spells, a while ago he fell from the stairs and freaked us all out (he was fine). It's a shame my parents are cat people.

Oh shit, I’m afraid to watch that video. I have epilepsy and am currently eight months pregnant with my first baby. My last seizure was a year ago.