You stated “half a second”. Sorry, if they are out of my first or second choices, the bartender may need to run down the choices.

s/busy/lazy/

have fun continuing to get bad service then? Don’t know what to tell you.

Ummm...really? “Infuriating?” The depth of the Patriots hatred out there is ludicrous. So they keep winning. Get over it. You should get out more.

Yep.

I’m going to miss The Vane.

“I want to take his fuck... off.”

This guy’s not even a real doctor!

They're nothing if not predictable. They yelled the same thing before the 2012 election.

Nothing interesting happened? Christ, people can’t even recognize progress anymore.

You probably blinked through the whole sequence of events.

I'm gonna say that you missed the sarcasm. Jesus.

You seem like fun

“The awkwardly feminine and possibly Canadian.”

You poor thing!

This is as important a story as Deadspin has ever done. My contempt for Hardy, Jones and Goodell is matched only by my admiration for Diana’s epic reporting.

I assume it’s because he talked to a girl.

That’s unfortunate for you.

What's really shitty is how Deadspin hijacked our internet connections and forced us to view/read these stories. Please keep up the good fight.