I guarantee you none of these people think they're racist.

If I were this kid's pop, I'd keep it a secret, too.

You know, I've really tried to get into American football, but I just can't take all the diving.

I could envision Jones scribbling the name of Johnny Manziel on the draft card. Indeed, all of these things happened.

"Good, consistent strike zones. But these guys will never get noticed with those understated calls."

-Joe West

Should a guy who has a (presumably not cheap) law degree he's not using really be complaining about others wasting a couple hundred bucks on a piece of software?

I have a salary, so if I work an extra hour, I get nothing. So if I save $25 by spending an hour on meal planning, it's not like that's taking the place of an extra hour of pay for me.

As long as we're reporting things that have been out for a few years, who won the 2012 MLB All-Star game? Did LeBron ever get his elusive first title?

People who think asking you for something (babysitting, moving help, free tax advice, spare change, etc.) entitles them to it, and then get angry when you don't give it to them.

Umpires will be directed to enforce Rule 6.02 and Rule 8.04, related to hitters stepping out of the box and pitchers delivering the ball within 12 seconds when the bases are unoccupied.

Not in *my* softball league.

So if there's a 1% chance at failing with the "safe" choice, and a 99% risk of failing with the "dream" choice, you may as well follow your dream because failure is still possible for both? I'm much safer driving 55mph, but I'd love to go 120 on the highway. It's possible for me to get into an accident either way, so…

The Metrodome, by contrast, was very susceptible to birds. In fact, on January 17, 1999, a few dozen Falcons completely deflated the place.

Do people make "bar bets," or is this some outdated cliche? If someone brought up some ridiculous-sounding proposition and wanted to bet me money whether they could do it, I'd assume they already knew how to do it and decline.

Old-school Mariners. The M for the Twins isn't as pointy.

At least he shot the guy the right way.

I apologize ahead of time for the ridiculosuly long read

their entire midfielder were lying prone on the grass

He's about 300 pounds now. So if he's health conscious, he's doing it wrong.

I once walked into a McDonald's with a friend and was mortified to hear him ask what was in a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit.